A Job for Sanosuke
by Shirou Shinjin
Summary: Sano owes Tae money... lots of money... a truly frightening amount of money. So what happens when Tae decides to call Sano's tab in? More importantly: will Sano survive a day as Tae's pet slave? Completed!
1. Prologue: The Zanza

**A Job for Sanosuke**

_Prologue – The Zanza_

By Shirou Shinjin.

**Disclaimer:** I have not, do not, and most likely will never own Rurouni Kenshin, or its characters. They belong to various evil corporations, and the wonderful Watsuki-sama. I'm just going to borrow them for a bit, k?

* * *

_Zanza._

Tall, imposing and strong, with his own code of justice.

_Sagara Sanosuke._

A lazy, easy-going larakin with a cocky grin.

Both with the symbol for 'evil' sewn onto their backs.

Both a puzzling dichotomy of righteousness and dark vengeance.

And above all else, two names that strike fear and terror into the hearts of every restaurateur in Tokyo.

A man with an endless appetite; who can eat for hours on end, and still not be satiated. A man who can, single-handed, consume an establishment's entire stock of sake in one sitting.

A man who has not once paid a bill in his life.

There is nary a bar, cafe, soba stand, noodle bar, hot pot or restaurant in the greater Tokyo area that does not have a tab under the name 'Zanza' or 'Sagara'. Quite frequently, they have one under each. And those that do not, live under the ever-present fear that one day they will look up to see those dark, hungry brown eyes and cocky grin walk through their door, and out with their profits.

Much like the legendary Hitokiri Battousai is to swordsmen the country over, the Zanza is to restaurant owners.

But for all their various levels of ever-increasing debt at the hands of this voracious omnivore, there is one proprietor whom they know not to complain around. For the Zanza's debts to their establishments pale in comparison to the leviathan liability he has accrued at her hot-pot restaurant.

Yes, Sekihara Tae is to be both respected and pitied. Respected for being able to keep her business running and _profitable_ even with the constant visitations by the Zanza, and pitied that he seems to prefer her food to anyone else's. Bizarrely, she does not even seem phased by this; she simply smiles and continues on, turning a tidy profit in the process.

Some attribute it to denial. Others to impeccable business acumen. Others make half-mumbled comments to the effect that the Zanza pays her, just not in the way they're thinking.

And whilst each and every one of them dream of the day the Zanza finally pays his tab, the harsh mistress that is reality forces them to consider somewhat more plausible occurrences. Such as revenge.

Little do they know that sweet, sweet vengeance is closing in upon the Zanza at this very moment...

* * *

**Author's Rambling**

Good grief! Something written by me that isn't a parody! The world must be coming to an end!

No, sorry to disappoint you, but this one's a (largely) original work. It was inspired by a post on the Meiji Tales forums which was something to the effect of "How could Tae get Sano to pay his bills off?" It all kinda went downhill from there...

This story will be rather longer than the ones I've done before: I'm looking at around 7 chapters not including the prologue. Needless to say, I'm going to be absolutely merciless to poor Sano in this story. I spent several days high on caffeine and sugar (a bad combination at the best of times) coming up with every degrading and embarrassing situation I could think of. I almost feel sorry for Sano, but really he did bring this on himself.

Another quick note on review responses. I highly doubt I will be doing the "respond to review in the Author's Note" thing most people do. I get an email for each review I receive, and I do my best to reply to each one individually. That said, if you submit your review anonymously, or your email isn't public, there's not much I can do.

Ja, ne

–賜狼審神

_10th September, 2005_

**Special Thanks**

To Author-chan and SiriusFan13 for proof-reading this chapter.

**Updates**

2005-09-19: Removed the bizarre reference to the calcium fluoride phosphate, _apatite_. It wasn't a spelling mistake _per se_, but still not quite what I meant to say...


	2. Ch 1: Plotting Tae, Hiding Sano

**A Job for Sanosuke**

_Chapter 1 – Plotting Tae, Hiding Sano_

By Shirou Shinjin.

**Disclaimer:** I have not, do not, and most likely will never own Rurouni Kenshin, or its characters. They belong to various evil corporations, and the wonderful Watsuki-sama. I'm just going to borrow them for a bit, k?

* * *

For Tae, it was that time of the month again. No, not _that_ time of the month, you grotty-minded person! What's that? Err, no; I have no idea what you're referring to... 

_Ahem._

It was that time of the month again—accounts day. The day on which Tae would sit with paper, ink stone and brush, and systematically work out two numbers. The first was a number she liked knowing: the amount of money she had made (or, every once in a while, lost) during the course of the month. The second was a number she hated knowing, but really couldn't help but work out.

It was the amount of money she _would_ have made had Sanosuke paid his tab. For that month. This month, it was easily enough to buy herself a new kimono.

She added this second number to a third which represented the total amount of money that Sano owed her, and was currently enough for a very long holiday in Okinawa, complete with a cruise and some very self-indulgent shopping.

For her, Kaoru _and_ Tsubame.

Yes, Sagara Sanosuke owed her a rather staggering amount of money. And as much as she bemoaned the lost kimonos, holidays, trips to the theatre and rare and highly collectible nishiwaki paintings, she had to appreciate him a little.

Appreciate—how is that possible? Quite simply, Sano had taught Tae to operate a business profitably, even under the looming cloud of Sano's free loading tendencies. She'd taken a somewhat profitable business, and turned it into a lean, mean hot-pot machine that generated more money than it ever had, even after she took Sano into account.

Even so, she couldn't really keep letting him off like this. His boyish grin and fierce determination to his friends would only get him so far. It was bad business to simply let customers off from their bills. She was not a cruel woman, but she felt it was high time she taught Sagara Sanosuke that _no one_ walks out of her restaurant without paying their bill.

The problem, such as it was, was finding a suitable way of going about this. Getting the money itself would be like trying to get Ken-san to hurt Kaoru...

...well, deliberately...

...when there wasn't a madman bent on the subjugation of all of Jap...

...like trying to get Ken-san to admit he loved the little kendo instructor without going into a fit of "Oro!"s, and hastily changing the subject.

That left only one avenue: making him wish he'd never accrued the debt in the first place. Which bought her back to the problem: she wasn't an evil woman, and she couldn't really come up with a way to teach the insufferable man a lesson. She could plot and scheme with the best of them, but only when she had others' best interests at heart.

"Tae-san, I've finished cleaning up out back. I'll see you on Thursday!" she heard Yahiko shout from outside her office.

"Ok, Yahiko-han. Take care on your way home—and say hi to Kaoru-chan for me!"

"Will do!" With that, Yahiko walked down the stairs, out the door, and off for home.

Their ritual shouting match complete, Tae turned back to her thoughts. Really, Yahiko was growing to resemble the ex-fighter for hire more each passing day. He was shooting up like bamboo in the spring, and his hair was getting longer and spikier every month. All he needed was a white outfit and red bandanna.

Oh, and the free loading tendencies.

Come to think of it, Yahiko was like a more responsible, shorter version of Sano with a stick instead of the perpetually bandaged hands. In some ways, he was also far more mature.

Sure, he still called Kaoru-chan "busu" (something she disapproved of immensely, but tolerated since she knew he didn't mean it), and acted like a spoilt brat at times, but it was mostly just a front. She fondly remembered when he had been introduced to the Akabeko's uniform for the first time. He had very nearly thrown in the towel then and there when he'd laid eyes on the off-pink uniform, but the desire not only to earn money for something he greatly desired, not to mention the bragging rights won out.

And once Tsubame had started, the deal had been well and truly sealed.

Still, the look of relief in his eyes when he learned he wouldn't have to wear the pink "monstrosity" was priceless... as was the look when Tsubame managed to coax him into putting it on _just once_ to see how it looked...

Like the sun rising in the east, the light went on in Tae's head. The perfect way to punish her favourite free loader...

And so, Tae set about making her plans.

* * *

Wednesday dawned, promising sun, laughter, customers, and sweet vengeance. Tae could barely hold in her excitement when Sano showed up in the Akabeko shortly before lunch with a smug grin, and an empty wallet. 

"Sanosuke-han! What a surprise to see you here. Did Kaoru-chan kick you out of the dojo?" She had a playfully hopeful look on her face to hide the manic grin threatening to reveal itself.

"Jou-chan? Kick me out? Never!"

Tae raised an eyebrow at him questioningly. "So she's cooking today?"

"Yup. Table for one, thanks," Sano conceded, and followed Tae to a booth up the back. Settling himself on the mat, he leaned back and idly chewed on his trademark fishbone. He waved at Tsubame as she passed by—she didn't seem in the least surprised to see him, and greeted him with a small smile. He liked Tsubame... not in a creepy way, but in the "sweetheart of a close buddy" kinda way.

Plus, seeing Yahiko blushing redder than Kenshin's hair and vainly trying to stammer something was hilarious.

It wasn't long before his meal arrived. He never bothered ordering—when you eat for free, you take what you're given, and don't complain. Unless Kaoru happens to be cooking. Then you can complain so long as you have a human shield nearby... in other words, Kenshin.

As hungry as ever, he dove into his noodles and fish with gusto, and was soon leaning back with a reasonably full stomach. As always, he hung around until Tae came to clear the dishes so he could thank her, trade a few playful remarks, and be on his way to annoy the Kitsune.

Right on schedule, Tae arrived to take his plates, and once again the issue of payment reared its ugly head.

"So Sanosuke-han, cash or credit today?" she asked congenially.

Sano chuckled lightly. "I'm a bit strapped for cash at the moment; you know how it is. Just chuck it on my tab," he said, amiably waving his hand.

Tae sighed. "You know, Sano, you really shouldn't keep piling things on your tab. Large tabs tend to attract problems..."

"Not to worry—I'm used to dealing with problems." Sano subtly puffed his chest out and grinned to emphasise his manliness and propensity for dealing with problems.

"If you say so, Sanosuke-han," Tae replied with an innocent smile. At that moment, Tae stopped what she was doing, stood up and turned, apparently to a customer. "Oh, I'm so glad you could make it, Uramura-san!"

_'Uramura-san!'_ Sano thought, the first vestiges of panic creeping in. _'It's probably nothing. Probably just here for lunch...'_

"I was beginning to wonder if you weren't going to come."

_'"...beginning to wonder..."? She's actually called the chief of police in!'_

"If you could just wait in the back there, I'll be with you in a few moments." The policeman bowed slightly, nodded at Sano, and walked into the back of the restaurant. It was obvious, even to Sano, that Uramura was not here for lunch.

_"Large tabs tend to attract problems..."_

He was here to collect heads.

_"If you say so, Sanosuke-han."_

Specifically: his.

Sano may have been a bit slow on the uptake on occasion, but he knew when he'd been outmanoeuvred. He had to sweet-talk her, and fast. And if that didn't work, bribe.

And failing that, beg.

Careful to ensure his casual air wasn't outwardly disturbed, he rose from his seat, and walked over to the eternally smiling Tae. "Hey, I was just thinking—"

"Yes, Sanosuke-han?" Tae interrupted. Sano realised with that familiar sinking feeling that she knew _exactly_ what he was up to. As he saw it, he had three options:

Option #1: Ask her out on a date, and hope she'd be too enamoured with his good looks and charming personality that she forgot about the whole 'debt' thing,

Option #2: Tell her he had tickets to whatever theatre might have been in town at the time, and then con Katsu into actually getting him said tickets... legitimately or otherwise, or

Option #3: Cut to the chase and offer to be her pet slave for the day.

Option one was risky because of what the Kitsune might do to him... not that he was involved with her in any way... well, any meaningful—or significant—way... and he certainly wasn't _afraid_ of her... that much. Besides, all things considered, Tae wasn't bad looking...

Option number two was probably the easiest to pull off, but the easiest to go horribly wrong. Scalped tickets had an unfortunate habit of being for the same seat as the one guy in the whole audience who will make a scene over it.

Option three was by far the safest. Tae was a good-natured woman, and would probably have him fix the roof or something. That, and the word "pet slave" made it attractive for the same reasons as option one. '_Bad Sano!'_

"—I'm not due to see the Kitsune until the weekend, and Kenshin'll be off shopping with Jou-chan somewhere by now, so do you need any help around the place?" Yes, Sano would be fine. There would be no sacrificing of roosters today...

"Actually, I don't really need any help today—" ...at least until tonight when Tae, Uramura and half the restaurant owners would gather around a pit before casting him in and roasting him alive. "—but if you want to come back tomorrow, I'll have some jobs for you."

Saved! Take it and run, Sano; take it and run like mad. "Sounds good; ja!" With a lazy wave of his hand, he slowly ambled out the door and back to his place to contemplate how easily he'd gotten off the hook.

Even so, as he sat in his room at the Ruffian Row playing dice against himself (and somehow losing), he couldn't shake the sense of foreboding that seemed to be hanging over his head.

"Ah well, probably just my imagination," he mused to himself.

* * *

Tsubame was worried. Sanosuke-san had just left, and Tae-san didn't seem to be miffed in the slightest. Usually she would be just that little bit annoyed that he had once again eaten and run, but she was smiling even more than usual. 

Tsubame knew Tae-san well enough to know that this meant she was up to something, and judging by how she had been smiling at Sanosuke-san, it involved him.

Tsubame was very worried for him.

As she pondered this, she heard voices coming from the back of the restaurant.

"Thank you for coming down, Uramura-san."

"Not at all, Sekihara-san. My wife sends her regards."

"Of course. I'm sorry to hear that she isn't feeling well recently."

"No, the doctor said it's nothing more than a bad flu, but she's confined to bed until she recovers."

"Doctor's orders?"

"No, mine. She deserves a good rest."

"Well, please take her this—I know how much she loves these bentou, and give her my best wishes."

"Of course." With that, Tsubame heard the police chief get up, and leave the room, smiling at her as he left. He really was a nice man—to take such good care of his sick wife, and come all the way down to the Akabeko just to keep her friends informed. Maybe someday _she'd_ find someone like that...

With thoughts of marriage, children, and loving husbands floating around her head, Tsubame dove back into her work.

* * *

The chief couldn't have come at a better time. Tae had planned on subtly hinting that she was going to start collecting in on Sano's debts, but when the chief showed up she'd pounced on the opportunity. 

She, of course, knew about Uramura's wife, and _had_ asked the chief to come down so she could send his wife her best wishes. Thankfully, she had managed to shoo him out the back before he could break the illusion. And when Sano tried to casually sweet-talk her, she knew she had him right where she wanted him.

That would force her plans ahead slightly, but that was alright. She would just need to get someone to help her with the alterations necessary... but at such short notice, there was only one person she could think of.

As she walked back through the restaurant towards a waiting group of customers, she pulled Tsubame aside. "Tsubame-chan, could you go to the market and find Kaoru-chan and Ken-san? I thought it might be nice to catch up with them."

"Hai." Tsubame nodded, and went off in search of their friends.

_'Soon,'_ Tae gloated to herself, _'soon you'll be wishing you'd never walked out on your bill...'_

* * *

**Author's Rambling**

I am well aware that I said Tae was not an evil woman. But every time I go over that last line, I get a distinct Mr. Burns image in my mind.

"_Tsubame; release the hounds!"_

Also, to borrow a phrase from Author-chan: can anyone say foreshadowing with a sledgehammer? Sano is going to be one miserable rooster by the end of tomorrow (tomorrow in story time, that is).

One thing I _am_ worried about is characterisation. This is the first time I've written a story where the characters are actually supposed to be acting normally. As a result, I'm concerned that I'll stuff up somewhere along the line. I'm not 100 percent happy with Sano, but I'm not entirely sure why. Hopefully, I'll get a better sense for his character as I go along.

Which reminds me—I personally don't consider any of these posted chapters set in stone until I officially declare the story complete. So if you do happen to notice any mistakes, or parts that don't make sense or read quite right, let me know so I can correct them.

In the same vein, my muse feeds almost exclusively on reviews and mints, but much like vegetables are for humans, it needs a good dose of constructive criticism to have a balanced diet. Gushing "Oh wow, this is soooo funny!" reviews are always appreciated, I'd be even happier with suggestions on how to improve.

Finally, a question. I'm interested to know how many people out there read (or would like to read) their stories off-line either with PDFs for printing/on-screen display or "simple" HTML for display on small-screen devices (such as PDAs). If there's enough interest, I'm considering making alternate versions of my stories available on request (unless someone wants to host them somewhere).

Well, I suppose I should get back to working on Chapters 2 and 3.

Ja, ne

–賜狼審神

_10th September, 2005_

_The title for this chapter is a bad parody of 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' which I have heard great things about, but never actually seen ._

**Special Thanks**

To Author-chan and SiriusFan13 for proof-reading this chapter.


	3. Ch 2: The Nightmare Begins

**A Job for Sanosuke**

_Chapter 2 – The Nightmare Begins_

By Shirou Shinjin.

**Disclaimer:** I have not, do not, and most likely will never own Rurouni Kenshin, or its characters. They belong to various evil corporations, and the wonderful Watsuki-sama. I'm just going to borrow them for a bit, k?

* * *

Sano woke up. This would turn out to be his first mistake of the day. 

Blinking the sleep and a few jugs worth of sake from his eyes, Sano engaged in a pitched battle with gravity. At first gravity, being a nice stable physical constant and not a haphazardly swaying young man, seemed to have the upper hand. It was a brutal fight, neither side giving or losing ground, but eventually Sano's persistence won out and he successfully defeated gravity and pulled himself into a sitting position.

_'Ha!'_ gravity seemed to taunt him; _'you may have won this round, but you've still got to stand up!'_

After a few more minutes of blearily fighting the combined forces of inertia and gravity, Sano managed to get to his feet without falling over. Pulling his pants and jacket on, a thought crossed his mind. _'Maybe I shouldn't drink so much sake right before bed... naah.' _ He grabbed a random fish bone from the pile, slid open the door to the blinding light outside, and made his way down the road to the dojo for breakfast.

As Sano sauntered through the early morning light, he had a lot of time to think about the coming day. He knew Tae; she was a friendly, caring and generous woman. She would never take advantage of the kindness of others.

Nor, he hoped, would she take advantage of free loaders who owed her staggering amounts of money that would make any inner-city accountant weak in the knees.

No, Sano thought to himself, he had nothing to fear. He'd likely spend the day hauling coal or assisting the men in the kitchen with the fires, or carrying the hot pots Tsubame was having trouble lifting (assuming Yahiko didn't beat him to it).

Yeah... today would be fine. He put on his best cocky grin, spun his fish bone, and strode up to the dojo gate.

Pulling his hands from his pockets, he pushed the gate open and walked inside, craning his neck around the corner to check for incoming projectiles (which could be anything from a tofu bucket to Yahiko)—Sano had learnt to be careful. Satisfied that he wouldn't be getting a concussion just yet, he made his way to the kitchen where Kenshin was predictably preparing breakfast.

"Yo." Sano was a master of language. He could puts words together and _everything_.

"Good morning, Sano. Breakfast will be ready shortly, if you would like to wait in the dining room," the rurouni replied softly.

Sano grunted in response, and went off to secure his spot at the feeding trough, err... table. He always found it somewhat amusing that despite Kenshin being such a quiet and reserved man, it was usually the rurouni who contributed the bulk to their conversations. At least, the conversations they had before 9 am.

Yahiko was already seated at the table, looking like he'd died during the night and had clawed his way up from the grave just so he wouldn't miss Kenshin's cooking. His hair was a mess, and Sano wasn't entirely sure if the kid was conscious or not. "Hey, Yahiko-chan, you awake or what?"

Seconds later, a very awake and very annoyed Yahiko was attempting to gnaw Sano's scalp off. _'Definitely awake,'_ he mused to himself.

It wasn't long before Kaoru walked in looking like the emperor's wife in comparison, and demurely seated herself at the table. She was wearing a colourful blue kimono, and an equally fetching magenta ribbon in her hair. Sano thought she looked very nice and had to wonder some mornings why Kenshin didn't just tell them both to get lost and jump on her.

Yahiko thought she looked very pretty (in a younger brother to older sister kind of way), and told her this in the only way he knew how. "Hey busu, you trying to impress someone or something?"

Kaoru predictably brained him on the head with the nearest solid object, which just happened to be a small, and thankfully empty, water bucket. "How dare you, Yahiko-_chan_!"

"Don't call me _'chan'_!" he fumed as he recovered from the blow to his head.

"Don't call me _'busu'_!"

"I just call it as I see it, busu!"

"Then you're obviously blind, _Yahiko-chibi-chan!_"

"_What was that!_"

"Breakfast, everyone!" Kenshin called from the kitchen. In the blink of an eye, Yahiko was sitting patiently like a little angel complete with fake halo and a manic grin at having gotten the last word in before Kenshin intervened. Kaoru was still glaring at her student, but was comforted by the knowledge that by the time she was finished with him tomorrow, he'd think _once_ before calling her "busu" again.

And so breakfast proceeded as normal—Yahiko throwing the odd insult at Kaoru who either responded in kind, hurled something at him, or thwacked him with a bokken she seemed to keep hidden under the dining table for this very purpose; Yahiko throwing the odd insult at Sano who responded with a jibe so scathing that the young kendo student had no choice but to launch himself at the older man, with an intent to sever his head from his shoulders; and Kenshin calmly sitting there like some Buddhist monk peacefully sipping his tea.

Serene bastard.

"So Sano, what are you doing today?" Kaoru casually asked him when she had finished her breakfast. Sano very nearly spat his Miso straight back into the bowl and all over his face. There was no way he was going to answer _that_ one truthfully!

"I'm, er..." he said, desperately stalling for time. "...not doing a _whole_ lot, that I'm aware of, Jou-chan." It wasn't a lie, precisely: he honestly _didn't_ know what Tae was going to ask him to do.

Kaoru beamed. "Good! In that case, you can come to the markets with me to help me carry things back. We need salt, soy sauce, miso, rice, more wood for the bathhouse and kitchen, an extra shinai to replace the ones Yahiko broke..."

"Hey, busu!" Yahiko shouted indignantly between double mouthfuls of food. As such, it came out more as "Hrrugh, boofu!"

"...some new tiles to fix that broken section of the roof, and there's this fabric I saw yesterday that I wanted to..."

This was getting out of hand. "Umm, you know I'd love to help ya, Jou-chan, but I'm, uh..."

"But you just said you weren't going to be busy—are you lying to me, Sanosuke?" Kaoru looked like she was getting angry. Not good.

"I said _'not that I'm aware of'_, and I'm not... hey wait a second—I thought you two went shopping yesterday? Don't tell me Yahiko-chan ate everything already!"

Yahiko pegged Sano in the side of his head with a chopstick, and went back to gorging himself.

"I'll have you know we never got to finish! We went to visit Tae-san." Kaoru crossed her arms over her chest in a huff.

_'Tae? Bah... they visit each other all the time.'_ "So are you helping or not, Sanosuke?"

Sano put on his most placating and apologetic face. It didn't look much different to his normal expression, but it was the thought that counted. "Jeeze, Jou-chan, you _know_ I'd _love_ to come help..."

Kaoru's gaze spoke of death and suffering. "Hmmph! Fine then. I suppose I'll carry it all by myself, then!" Kaoru looked half angry and half hurt.

"Maa, maa," Kenshin said, placing a calming hand on her arm. "This one will be happy to come assist you, Kaoru-dono. I am sure that Sano has his reasons." Most people were fooled by Kenshin's rurouni act. Sano wasn't. Kenshin very clearly just said "Forget him, baby. _I'm_ not an insensitive jerk who abandons his friends; I'll help you. Then afterwards, we can ditch these losers and sneak off somewhere... private."

Well, ok. Maybe the first and last parts were a bit iffy, but the "insensitive jerk" bit was definitely there. Probably.

Thankfully, Kenshin's offer seemed to satisfy Kaoru. She smiled brightly at the rurouni, before turning to glare daggers at Sano for a few moments more. Kenshin remained seated and had a warm, satisfied smile on his face.

Serene, _smug_ bastard.

A moment later, Kaoru rose from her seat and wandered off back to her room to, Sano assumed, do "girl things." Soon after, Yahiko was up and leaving to, Sano assumed, do "Yahiko things."

"Well, I'm off to the Akabeko," he mentioned as he made his way out the door to the veranda. "I promised Tae I'd help today."

Wait a minute... Yahiko was going to be at the Akabeko today? _'It's... it's probably nothing to worry about,'_ Sano assured himself, not entirely believing it.

"And you, Sano? Are you heading off now as well?" Kenshin inquired as he cleaned away the breakfast dishes.

Sano realized that the sooner he got to the Akabeko, the sooner he could get this day over with. Once again, Sano is completely wrong. "Yeah, you know—things to do..."

The rurouni just smiled at him and nodded once before leaving for the kitchen to take care of the washing up. With a full belly and only a slight sense of apprehension, Sano made his way from the dojo and down the street towards the Akabeko.

However, as he walked along the bustling streets of Tokyo, he couldn't shake the nagging feeling that something awful was going to happen. It was like he could hear the thunder and see the shadows, but every time he turned to look the storm clouds had disappeared from sight. He didn't like the feeling.

But really, how bad could it possibly be?

* * *

The answer, it seemed, was very, _very_ bad indeed. 

When Sano had walked into the Akabeko (much to the surprise of Yahiko), he had expected to be fixing the roof, or lugging rice around, or some other physical, menial task.

It was, he later noted, with a look of pure satisfaction and glee that Tae led him into a small room in the upper floor of the building which looked like some kind of office. It was with even greater satisfaction that Tae finally revealed what Sano would be doing.

He didn't even hear her words as she held forth his uniform.

Sano felt sick. Not in the "got a bit of a cough and a runny nose" kind of sick, but in the "I can feel my intestines attempting to evacuate my body" kind of sick. This reaction was entirely prompted by the hideous uniform before him.

The few parts of his brain not engaged in coming up with new adjectives to describe the pure revulsion he felt towards the garment, idly noted that this explained just _why_ Tae seemed so cheerful the day before.

There was nothing in his past experiences to tell him how to react to this. He wanted to scream, run away, hide, burn the vile thing, _anything_ but put it on. It was, to put it simply, the most gruesome, nauseating, monstrous and disgusting thing he had ever seen in his life.

It was an Akabeko uniform—it had a white apron running down the front, and was long enough to reach halfway down his calves, making him look like a cross-dressing housewife. This was not the worst bit.

The kimono had the most hideous black stripes he had ever seen running up its length, which hurt both his eyes and his (admittedly primitive) sense of fashion. This was also not the worst bit.

The very worst thing of all was that everywhere that was not black and stripy was pink. Bright pink. Not a tasteful, manly "magenta" like Kenshin's gi, but bright, "princess" Sakura pink.

Sano felt a small part of his masculinity dissolve just from being in the same room as it.

"No." Really, what else could he say?

"But Sanosuke-han, I went to a lot of trouble to make you a uniform for today!" Tae pleaded, putting on her best kicked-puppy expression.

"No."

"I had to get someone in just to make it long enough to fit you!"

"No. It's pink."

"But of course it's pink, Sanosuke-han."

"Then why," he asked, finally dragging his eyes from the atrocious kimono, "isn't yours pink?"

"Well, that's because I changed the colour of the kimono a few years ago. This was the only other spare one I had lying around, and since it was such short notice..."

"And what, exactly, is it you want me to do while I'm wearing that... that... _thing_?" Sano practically spat the last word out, desperately hoping it would suddenly burst into flames.

"Why, work in the restaurant. You know; taking orders, bringing food out, serving customers."

God no. "No. Way."

"Oh come on."

"No. Absolutely not! I am not doing it!"

"Pleeeeeeease, Sano-han?" Tae now had the look of a three year-old daughter who had asked her parents _very_ nicely if she could _pretty please_ have a pony this year for her birthday because she'd been _ever so good_ and if she couldn't then she'd kick and scream until child welfare came and locked them up...

"What kind of a man do you think I am?"

"But... you promised you'd do this for me..." Tae's expression was slowly changing from pleading to demanding.

"Anything else, Tae—anything!" It was Sano's turn to plead. "Suppose Jou-chan found out, or... or the kitsune..."

"Sanosuke, it's either this or the money. Then again, there's always the alternative involving handcuffs..."

Sano broke down. "I'll do it naked—I don't care! Anything but that!"

"Sano..."

He had no choice. There was no way he could pull the money together, and he really didn't feel like spending the rest of his natural life eating the only food he knew for a fact to be _worse_ than Jou-chan's...

"Fine," he said bitterly.

At this, Tae visibly cheered up, and ushered him behind a screen. "Quickly—strip out of those so we can get started!"

Sano, however, would not go without a fight. No way was he succumbing to his pinky fate _this_ easily. "I don't think this is going to work, you know." He announced from behind the screen.

Tae arched an eyebrow. "Oh, and why's that?"

"I'm too big."

This, Tae could well imagine. "Rubbish. It should fit like a glove."

"I'm telling you," he replied as he started making grunting sounds, "I'm too... ugh... big... ugh."

"Oh stop being a baby—just try harder." She could now hear him hopping up and down in a vain attempt to... what was it was trying to do, exactly?

"Can't... get... head... through..."

Tae idly wondered just _how_ he was trying to put it on, or if he even knew how to put a Kimono on in the first place. "Just push a little harder, Sano. It's not going to bite you."

"Wouldn't surprise me," he mumbled under his breath before adding with a thick layer of sarcasm, "I'd hate to tear anything..."

"That's sweet of you to say, Sanosuke-han, but it should be more than flexible enough to put up with a little stretching."

"Damn," Sano swore under his breath. With a quick jerk, he popped his head through the kimono. He couldn't help a slight surge of satisfaction at having overcome the blasted uniform. After all, he'd never put a kimono on before in his life! "I'm through!"

"Very good, Sanosuke-han. That wasn't so bad, now was it?"

Sano had to admit, the fabric really was quite comfortable. "Well now that you mention it, it's... hey! Yes it was! And it's still _pink!_" He huffed and hoped she wouldn't come up with some clever retort, because he really was all out of insults by this point.

"Yes, yes... are you coming now, Sano?" Tae just wanted to get him downstairs and put him to work.

"Yeah, yeah..." he muttered as he came out from behind the screen. With every passing second, he felt his male confidence shrinking.

"Sano!" Tae exclaimed happily, grinning madly. He looked absolutely adorable. All he needed was a nice pink bow in his hair instead of that tatty old red bandanna! Fortunately for him, Tae was all out of pink bows.

Sano glared daggers at the restaurant owner. "Let's get this over with," he grumbled as he made his way downstairs.

* * *

Yahiko's reaction to finally seeing Sano was as to be expected. He laughed. He laughed and laughed and laughed. He laughed so hard, he fell over, and still he laughed. Even as he began to see stars and feel light-headed, he continued to laugh. He laughed uncontrollably until he finally ran out of oxygen and passed out for several minutes. 

Sano glared at the unconscious boy. "When you wake up, you are so dead."

Tsubame was a little less aggravating. She just kinda stared at him like she couldn't quite believe what she was seeing. Sano glanced back unhappily.

Tae meanwhile had walked back into the restaurant, throwing a quick "I'll be back for you soon, Sanosuke-han!" over her shoulder before she disappeared.

"Sanosuke-san..." Tsubame quietly began.

"Yeah?"

"... your uniform is very... pink."

"Yeah, I know kiddo. I know."

"Sorry." Tsubame tried smiling weakly for him.

"Thanks," Sano replied, giving her a quick pat on the head as he smiled for the first time since he'd laid eyes on the hideous kimono.

A few moments later, the silence was broken by Tae's exuberant cry of "Sano! Customers!"

Sano gave a small sob, and walked out into the restaurant.

* * *

**Author's Rambling**

Aah, finally I get to reveal what Tae's got in store for Sano! Believe it or not, it actually _does_ get a whole lot worse as the day wears on.

This chapter is also where the real test for my characterisation of Sano and Tae begins. The majority of the interaction in this story from here on will be between Sano and Tae, with some occasional interaction between Sano and Tsubame.

My primary concerns are basically Sano's language, and Tae's disposition. I'm trying to give Sano that "lovable street thug" feel in the way he talks and deals with people, but I'm not sure it's coming across right. As for Tae, I _am_ making her a bit more vindictive than you're probably used to, but I do plan to temper her vengeance with kindness—like I said, she's not an evil woman... she's just getting a little payback.

The next chapter (and the one after that) are where things _really_ start to get fun. You're all going to hate me once Chapter 3 goes out (smiles to self).

Until then,

Ja, ne

–賜狼審神

_2nd October, 2005_

_The title for this chapter is taken directly from the first episode of Invader Zim, which I felt was quite appropriate..._

**Special Thanks**

To Author-chan and SiriusFan13 for proof-reading this chapter. The kimono was originally going to be described as "hot pink", until Author-chan pointed out that they didn't _have_ "hot pink" back then. Well, apparently, anyway.

**Update (23rd February, 2006)**

Finally fixed up the somewhat nonsensical "Kami no". I'd promised myself I'd keep my 'Animeisms' to a minimum... Also, many thanks to the reviewer who pointed it out to me—my apologies that I can't remember who it was :P


	4. Ch 3: Sanosuke, Queen of the Akabeko

**A Job for Sanosuke**

_Chapter 3 – Sanosuke, Queen of the Akabeko_

By Shirou Shinjin.

**Disclaimer:** I have not, do not, and most likely will never own Rurouni Kenshin, or its characters. They belong to various evil corporations, and the wonderful Watsuki-sama. I'm just going to borrow them for a bit, k?

* * *

_'One foot in front of the other, Sano; you can do this...'_ Sano doggedly marched down the middle of the Akabeko towards the booth which Tae was standing in front of. He would not let this beat him. He had survived against incredible odds before, and this time would be no exception.

Two booths away.

_'It's just a kimono; it's not like it changes who I really am...'_

One booth away.

_'Yeah; when I get to that booth, I'm going to look those people in the eyes and **dare** them to make a crack!'_

Sano turned to face the occupants of the booth and felt his blood freeze. All of a sudden, he very much wished some kind kami would strike him dead where he stood.

"I'll just leave these gentlemen to you, Sanosuke-han." Tae smiled innocently, and walked off to tend to other customers. Sano didn't particularly notice.

"Ginji, Tomo," Sano greeting his buddies mechanically. They just stared back at him as if he'd suddenly grown a second head. "What will you have today?"

Tomo was the first to come out of his sudden coma. "Hot pot," he said, trying very hard _not_ too look anywhere but at Sano's face, and failing rather miserably.

"For two," Ginji amended, sounding as if he had never used his voice before in his life.

"Right," Sano managed to croak out. He turned and slowly walked towards the back of the restaurant.

Meanwhile, Genji and Tomo turned to look at each other. "Did I just..." Tomo began before being interrupted by Genji.

"No, and neither did I. We've both had a bit too much to drink, and are obviously hallucinating."

"But... we haven't _had_ anything to drink today."

"That just goes to show how much we must have drunk to have completely forgotten having drunk it."

"But... sake doesn't normally do this. Does it?"

"I have no idea, but I am willing to accept for the moment that it does."

"Fine by me."

"Now let us never speak of it again."

"What do we do if he comes back and he's still pink?"

"I don't know..."

While Tomo and Ginji were discussing the potential benefits of swearing off alcohol for the rest of their lives, Sano was slowly dragging himself back to the rear of the restaurant. He didn't hear the sniggers of the patrons as he walked past... all he knew was that his life was officially over.

As he sluggishly walked into the back room, Tae came up to him.

"Well, Sanosuke-han? What did they want?" Tae was as cheerful as ever... perhaps even _more_ cheerful than when she'd first seen him wearing the evil pink kimono.

"Hot pot for two," he managed to drone out. He was still trying to come to grips with the situation.

"Wonderful! Write the order down on this slip of paper here, hand it to the cooks, and then head back out to take more orders! You'll be on tables one, three, five and seven." Tae skipped up to Sano and clasped him on the shoulders. "You're doing such a good job, Sanosuke-han!" With that, she merrily made her way back into the restaurant as if on cloud nine.

Sano, meanwhile, was being forced to re-evaluate just how low a man could feel. He dutifully wrote the order down, handed it to the cooks (who seemed very sympathetic to his plight, bless their souls), and unsteadily headed back out.

If Sano thought the incident with Tomo and Ginji was bad, he obviously wasn't being very imaginative. At first, it was just random people who appeared. Most of them he didn't know, so it wasn't so bad. They would either give him an incredulous stare, snigger after he'd turned his back on them, or confide that they thought he was very brave and must be very secure in his masculinity.

But it didn't last long. Sano didn't suspect it was Tomo or Ginji who did the deed, but it quickly became apparent that someone was spreading the word like the flu through a school yard that the Zanza, Mr. Macho himself, was down at the Akabeko dressed like daddy's little princess.

It wasn't long before people he _did_ know started to show up. Drinking friends, gambling friends, guys he'd met on the street, girls he'd flirted with, people he owed money to. He'd become a one-man sideshow, and Tae was raking in the cash because of it.

After an hour or so, Sano could almost feel his nerves fraying at the ends. That was when a bunch of no-goods from a local Yakuza group came sauntering in, and asked for the "pretty new waiter." Sano was tempted to just knock them unconscious. He seemed to recall having done it on at least one occasion before.

"What the hell do you three want?" he asked, not bothering to hide his distaste for the hooligans.

"Wha? Where are your manners? We're _customers_! That means you gotta treat us with respect-like!"

"Yeah, little missy! We're paying customers. Why don't you scoot along and get us some sake, toots."

The third just sat back and laughed.

"Toots?" Sano's fists involuntarily opened and closed in barely contained rage. "How would you like it if I turned you three into the soy paste for the miso, _huh_?" With a sudden rush of testosterone, he turned his most fearsome glare on them. He wanted them to wet their pants.

Instead, they just laughed even harder. "You, beat us up? While you're wearing _that_!"

Sano growled, and got ready to throw out some trash, when he felt a surprisingly strong grip on his shoulder.

"Sanosuke..." It was Tae. "I'm surprised at you—you know you can't simply go around hitting customers."

Dimwit number three decided to chip in; "Yeah, little miss princess! We're customers—you can't touch us!"

Sano was practically shaking with need to hurt these three as badly as possible. "Tae..." Making him wear pink was bad enough, but having to put up with this...

"However, I don't recall these three having paid for anything."

You could have heard a pin drop as their rancorous laughter died almost instantly.

Tae's face became thoughtful. "And come to think of it, I seem to remember these three skipping out on a bill the last time they were here."

The three punks slowly began edging their way towards the door. Sano put on his most vicious smile... the kind that makes you wonder if he's about to lunge for your neck and take a bite out of it. "They don't sound like customers to me, Tae... they sound more like trouble."

"Indeed, Sanosuke-han. And I don't like trouble in my restaurant..."

Sano cracked his knuckles.

Realizing that there was nothing on Earth that would save them now, they screamed and ran for the door as fast as they could, tripping over themselves in their haste to escape.

Sano and Tae stood side-by-side for a few minutes before Sano burst into laughter. Tae simply smiled as usual, gave Sano a pat on the back, and got back to work.

After that, the patrons seemed suspiciously reticent to give him a hard time, and that was fine with Sano. The run-in with the morons had given him a much-needed ego boost. He remembered just exactly how he had gotten through life thus far: determination, bravado, and out-and-out lying.

He began to concoct a laudable story about how Tae was terribly understaffed today, and had needed the help so badly, that brave, heroic Sano had offered to help out, even at the cost of wearing a frilly pink kimono. He was just that kind of guy...

A surprising number of people actually believed this contrived rubbish, although that was likely because accepting that he was lying would have been far more emotionally scarring.

Of course, those that actually knew him weren't fooled so easily. More than a few gambling buddies swung around to drop off comments to the effect that it was high time someone called one of his tabs in. Those people often found themselves with a hot cup of tea "accidentally" poured in their laps very quickly.

And so, the morning wore on. Despite his best efforts, with every customer Sano served he felt a small part of his masculinity shrivel up, and the strain of his predicament was slowly wearing him down. This one day of work was going to be the most exhausting battle of his life.

At least Shishio had been considerate enough to knock him _unconscious_ for a while.

With his legs feeling like they were made of lead, Sano made his way into the back room, found a mat and sat down heavily. He felt exhausted, and it wasn't even lunch time yet. How Tae did this all day long, he'd never know. He peered over his shoulder to see Tsubame sitting quietly beside him, sipping at a cup of tea.

"Tired, kiddo?" he asked.

"No, Sanosuke-san. Just having a drink." Wow. She'd been at this as long as he had, and she was still sprightly... well, as sprightly as Tsubame ever got. Caught in his thoughts, he didn't notice Tsubame turn her gaze to his kimono. "Sanosuke-san..."

He traced her gaze, and sighed heavily. "Yeah, I know... it's awful, isn't it?"

"No, it's not that," she replied timidly. "It's just... she must have done a very good job."

This was unexpected. "Huh?"

"Well, I mean... that kimono used to be so much smaller. It's amazing she managed to get it to fit you with so little time... uh! Not that you're big or anything!"

Sano's mind was a little too preoccupied to notice Tsubame's sudden stuttering. "I guess Tae must be pretty good with a needle, eh?" But then something floated in from the back of his mind...

"Oh no, Tae-san didn't make the alterations."

"Then... who did she get?" Sano had a bad feeling about this...

"_I had to get someone in just to make it long enough to fit you!"_

"Well, yesterday she asked me to go find Kaoru-san in the markets. I guess she must have done it while she was over here."

"_We went to visit Tae-san."_

Jou-chan... knew.

Tsubame's little rhetoric on how Kaoru-san was a lot more feminine that most people gave her credit for was lost to Sano. She knew. Tomo and Ginji knowing, Sano could handle. His pals from the gambling halls knowing, he could live with.

But Jou-chan? _'Oh please, no...'_ He'd never hear the end of it... every last time he'd skimped out on helping was coming back in some sick kind of divide karmic retribution... every past sin in his life had chosen this precise moment to exact payment.

All those jokes about her being a tomboy... and now...

Sano very much wanted to cry then and there.

"Sanosuke-san? Are you alright?" Tsubame was looking at him worriedly. It must have been because he was white as a sheet. "Was... was it something I said?"

Jeeze... this girl was worse than Kenshin for the whole guilt thing. "Nah... I'm... I'm just a bit tired, y'know... kind of a stressful day..."

Tsubame nodded sadly. Putting her empty cup down, she walked back towards the restaurant.

Sano, meanwhile, was left to wallow in a pit of his own misery. To be honest, he could handle most people finding out about this, but Jou-chan was like his little sister. He just couldn't bear the thought of her knowing about this. He thought back to breakfast, and dearly wished he could go back and be nicer... for once, offering to help carry groceries would have been the lesser of two evils.

From beyond the doorway, he heard someone's happy chatter coming towards the back room. "Sanosuke-han! Sanosuke-han!" It was the demon mistress herself, come to heap pain, misery and suffering upon him. Whee.

"What now?" he mumbled.

"Sano-han... you don't look so well. Maybe you should get some fresh air..."

Wait for it... the catch'll come _any_ second now.

"...so I have a job for you!"

Bingo.

"I want you to make a delivery for me."

Sano's head shot up. "What, you mean... outside... with all the people?"

"Well, there wouldn't be much point if it was someone in the restaurant, now would there?"

"But... there's so many people out there!"

"That happens, Sano-han—it's called being in a city. People tend to live in cities." How could you argue with logic like that?

"What could possibly be more important than degrading myself in front of every man, woman and child that walks in here?" Sano didn't feel like being eloquent... not that he _knew_ how to be eloquent in the first place, or even what it meant.

"Silly Sano." Tae patted him on the shoulder and sat down next to him. "I've had this idea of starting a home-delivery for meals for _ages_ now, but I've never been able to spare the man-power." She gestured in the general direction of the restaurant. "Yahiko and Tsubame are hard workers, but they aren't really suited to lugging lots of heavy food around town." She sighed, and then turned to Sano. "Lucky for me, _you're _here!"

"Yeah. Lucky. Must be a total coincidence."

"I know! And it just so happens I have a friend who has _always_ been supporting me, and I want her to be the first to try it!" Tae beamed at Sano.

Without waiting to hear his opinion (which she probably wouldn't have liked, anyway), she ushered him out the back. There was what could only be described as a crate. He watched as several of the cooks carefully stacked small boxes of rice and vegetables inside. Then, on the top, they set a medium-sized sukiyaki wok, still bubbling with heat.

"Now, it's important that you don't dawdle, Sano-han. You need to get there before the food over-cooks. And don't drop anything, or break anything."

"I don't suppose you want me to hang around while they're eating, and bring the stuff back when they're done?" Sano asked, a hint of hopefulness creeping into his voice.

"Oh of course not! Just tell her to send the wok back when she's done. She's a good friend, so I trust her." 'Oh damn. There goes that escape.'

"So, uh... where am I going, anyway?"

"Here are the directions to her house."

Sano stared in a mild amount of shock. It was clear he didn't have to worry about knowing _anyone_ in this neck of the woods... this area was seriously high-class. Not king of the hill type high-class, but these people had more gravy then he'd ever see. He had absolutely no idea who this woman could be.

"Now, off with you, Sano! The hot-pot is cooking! And don't forget..." Tae began, and she then dropped her voice. "It's fourteen minutes there, fourteen minutes back, maximum of six and a half minutes to make the drop off, deal with pleasantries and be on your way." He should have known she'd already timed how long this would take. "More than five minutes over, and I might just have to keep you around longer to make up for lost time."

Sano practically bolted out the gate and into the street.

"And don't spill anything, or we'll have to try again tomorrow!"

* * *

For once in his life, Sano was _not_ lost. For once, Sano had a map. For once, Sano was _using_ his map.

Normally, he would be content to just amble around until he got hungry, find something to eat, then sorta gravitate towards the largest disturbance he could find, which inevitably had something to do with Kenshin.

In this case, time was not a luxury he could afford. And so, he stuck to the map, careful to make sure he knew where he was. As he'd wandered away from the Akabeko, the houses had grown more up-scale, more refined. Perfectly manicured gardens, spectacular water features, and immense, imposing iron gates adorned the street he was currently on. There was absolutely _no chance_ he knew _anyone_ in this part of town.

He eventually came to the house marked with a small arrow and heart on Tae's map. Her directions had been... colourful, to say the least. It was like Tae had some kind of repressed artist in her, crying to get out and splash colour around willy-nilly. She'd even drawn a smily face on the sun.

That woman needed help.

Glancing up from the map, he took in the house before him. There was something... odd... about it. The house itself was a perfectly traditional Japanese home—not a trace of the westernisation the other homes exhibited. The gardens were perfectly kept—the design seemed almost symmetrical, if it weren't for the odd flairs of creativity that adorned it. It was like a military commander had laid out the plants, only to have his rambunctious daughter turn his prize topiaries into a pony and a kitty-cat.

Never the less, the clock was ticking, so he carefully made his way up to the front porch, and knocked on the door. Remembering Tae's warning to be polite, he added "Akabeko delivery" as an afterthought.

The sound of footsteps came from within, and he braced himself. The door slid open, and time stopped.

She was... words could not describe that kind of beauty. Saying this woman was a vision from heaven would be insulting to _her_. Sano had never beheld a woman this refined, this jaw-droppingly, staggering, mind-blowingly, awesomely, ... his mind had completely run out of adjectives. The only coherent thought that managed to piece the thick shroud she had draped over his mind was:

_'Wow.'_

"Oh, hello there. You must be the one helping Tae."

Her voice... it... it was like every songbird in the country singing in perfect harmony with each other... a heavenly lilt that made him feel like he was made of air, and could float through the sky on her musical words alone.

"Yeah."

"My, you _are_ a man of few words, aren't you?"

And she wasn't the type who just bowed and preened herself, either... Sano knew a streak of mischievousness when he saw it. He was in love.

"Yeah."

"Well, you can't stand out there all day long. Let me fetch my husband to help you."

It was as if his dreams were a tall tower of glass, and her words were like the cannonball that sailed through it, smashing it to pieces around him. His life was over—it held no meaning for him any more now that this lovely... beautiful... uhh...

_'Ah to hell with it. She's outta my league anyway. So's the kitsune, but hey, a guy's gotta have goals, right?'_

Sano shook himself from his little daydream, and got ready to unload the heavy box from his back. He'd be glad to get this over and done with.

"Ah, here he is. Anata, could you help the young man with the food?"

He heard a derisive snort from the doorway. "Well, well, well. Look what the rooster dragged in."

His knees starting wobbling. No. Way. This is _not_ happening.

He bought his gaze up to the person he second-least wanted to see right now.

"Oh crap. Not _you_."

* * *

**Author's Rambling**

Am I evil for ending it there or what? Just so you know, I've been practising my evil lately... been going to evil night classes, learning the fine Japanese art of "Ending Episodes at the Worst Possible Moment."

It's been a while since I updated, mostly due to Real Life™ getting in the way. I often anthropomorphise Real Life™ as a kind of giant ogre with a really big club, a small brain, and a perchant for smashing things. Not even my neurotic, caffeine-addicted kitty-muse is in any particular hurry to be bludgeoned into submission, so writing has to take a back-seat, I'm afraid.

That said, the time of my trial (for this year) is almost over... a few more weeks and no more assessments to worry about, and I can get on with making Sano suffer instead. Aah, karma...

Speaking of which, things are finally falling apart for poor Sano. But make no mistake, I'm just warming up. And who is our mystery man? It's obviously someone Sano knows, but who could it be?

Next chapter, we find out who the mystery couple are, Sano sits in on a delightfully cordial lunch with said couple, and then discovers that things can _always_ get worse.

Until then,

Ja, ne

–賜狼審神

_23rd October, 2005_

_The title for this chapter is a parody of the title of the hilarious (and mentally scarring) Australian film, _Pricilla, Queen of the Desert._ I encourage everyone to watch it... you get to see Hugo Weaving (aka: Agent Smith from _The Matrix_) as a drag queen! If that doesn't leave you screaming in terror, nothing will..._

**Special Thanks**

To Author-chan for proof-reading this chapter, and her always useful knowledge of Meiji-era Japan.

**Update (23rd February, 2006)**

In finishing up the next chapter, I added something retroactively to _this_ chapter. Specifically, the dialogue between Tae and Sano about which tables he'll be working. I also fixed some spelling and grammar mistakes.


	5. Ch 4: Welcome To My Parlor

**A Job for Sanosuke**

_Chapter 4 – Welcome To My Parlor_

By Shirou Shinjin.

**Disclaimer:** I have not, do not, and most likely will never own Rurouni Kenshin, or its characters. They belong to various evil corporations, and the wonderful Watsuki-sama. I'm just going to borrow them for a bit, k?

* * *

Saito. Of all the people Tae could have possibly wanted him to make a delivery to, she _had_ to chose Saito.

This day just kept getting better and better...

"I'll go clear the table, and you help him bring it inside." With that, Tokio retreated inside the house, leaving the rooster to the mercy of the wolf.

"This _is_ an unpleasant surprise, isn't it? Did you lose a bet with Battousai, and have to wear his clothes for a day?" Saito asked, a snide grin plastering itself over his face.

Sano scowled.

"Although, I doubt even the Battousai would wear something _that_ ridiculous. He's always been a bit strange in the head, but I'd never consider _him_ a cross-dre..."

"Shove it, Saito," Sano snapped, irritably. The _last_ thing he wanted right now was to deal with the wolf and his taunts.

"My, my... aren't we touchy today? Maybe I was wrong... maybe you're wearing the Tanuki's clothes as well as her personality..."

"Are you going to help me with this or not?"

"I'd really prefer not to... I have no idea where you've been."

"Aarrgghh! Then just let me in already so I can put this damn thing down!"

"Oh, I don't think so. Someone might see you walk into my home, and I'd hate to have them get the wrong impression."

Sano now resorted to glaring at the wolf. "I hate you; so very much."

"The feeling's mutual, rooster-head."

"Hajime! What's going on out there?"

For a split second, something seemed to cross Saito's face, before he stepped back from the opening to give Sano room to enter.

Sano made a mock bow. "Why, how courteous of you..."

"Any time, miss," Saito replied, his grin widening.

"...you arrogant, oily haired moron," Sano whispered under his breath.

"I heard that."

"Che."

* * *

Sano wasn't sure what he was expecting from the wolf's den, but it wasn't this. It was so... _ordinary_. No hallways lined with naked swords, no torture devices, no paintings of famous Ishin Shihi supporters with a tasteful dagger through the face.

Instead, it was sparsely, but tastefully decorated. It could have passed as an absolutely average Japanese home... if it weren't for the utterly evil owner, and his perplexingly angelic wife.

Sano wandered down the hall until he spotted the dining room, and entered. He carefully sat the crate with the sukiyaki wok in it onto the floor (without any help from the sniggering wolf whatsoever) just as Tokio reappeared.

She looked disapprovingly at her husband. "Didn't you help him with that, Hajime?"

Saito just smiled narcissistically. "I held the door open."

Sano couldn't help but admire the woman for the look of pure malice she was giving the wolf. Saito returned the glare, and the two held it for almost half a minute before Saito's gaze flicked to the side for one brief instant.

Tokio smiled in satisfaction, and turned to help Sano unload the wok. "Well then, if _you_ won't help him, then I guess I'll have to."

"Fine by me."

Sano may have been slow, but he wasn't stupid. Someone had just won themselves a night sleeping on a tatami mat...

A few moments later, the meal was laid out on the table, and Sano got ready to leave. "Well, I'd better get back to the Akabeko. Tae'll have my head if I take too long."

"Oh no, you must stay for a little while!"

"Huh? No, I couldn't do that..."

"You're absolutely right there, rooster."

"Oh ignore him, he's just having one of his cranky days. There's easily enough for three here, and if Tae-san gives you any trouble, I'll sort things out."

"I wouldn't stay if I were you, rooster... bad things could happen."

"Hajime, quiet!"

Amazingly, the wolf shut up. Sano really wasn't comfortable with the looks Saito was giving him, but the way this delicate, demure woman was ordering around the arrogant Wolf of Mibu fascinated him. Plus, it looked like the wolf was even _less_ comfortable with him staying.

"Well, I suppose I could stay for a little while."

"Oh please... I need a cigarette."

"Hajime... what have I told you about smoking in the house?"

"Do it any time I please since it's my house?"

"You know it leaves that awful smell in the rooms."

"I happen to rather like it, myself."

"And how embarrassing it is to have you smoking when we have guests?"

"I wouldn't really consider him a _guest_..."

"And how you'll be cleaning the house top-to-bottom if you don't put that out right now?"

Saito glared at his wife for a few moments before grinding the butt into a nearby ashtray. He then busied himself with lunch in an attempt to ignore his wife.

"So, how do you and Hajime know each other?"

"Well, I don't know what Saito's told you about..."

"Rooster-head made a nuisance of himself back when I had to go find the Battousai. If I remember correctly, he made rather an... impression at the time."

"Hey! I was..."

"And again in Kyoto, where he proved himself to be a completely useless, annoying ahou."

"HEY! I blew up that ship thing!"

"'Ship thing'? That was pure luck, ahou. Besides, you weren't even the one responsible for the explosives... you didn't even have any idea how much damage they would do."

"Like you could have done any better. 'Oh look at me, I'm going to attack a ship with my sword!' What were you going to do? Viciously poke at it until Shishio gave up? At least I actually did some damage."

"Bah. The only reason you got within half a mile of Shishio was because the Battousai and I had to distract him for you."

"Distract? I seem to remember someone standing there trying to look all 'dangerous' while Shishio's goons tried to fill me with lead!"

"Rooster."

"Wolf!"

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Uh... Pansy!"

"Pansy? Did you run out of insults _that_ quickly? I'm rather surprised, even if this _is_ you..."

"Yeah, well Shishio totally kicked your arse!"

"I seem to remember getting three strikes in. And how many did you land? Oh that's right—one _attempted_ punch, and you were lying bleeding against a wall with your hand crushed. Very effective, rooster-head. I'm sure your _three second_ delay of Shishio really made a valuable contribution in the end."

"You and Hajime must be very close friends," Tokio quietly observed.

Sano and Saito both had the same opinion of this statement. "WHAT!"

"Well, Hajime only argues like this with his close friends."

"What rubbish, woma—"

"Quiet!"

"Uhh... well, what does he do to people he _doesn't_ like?"

"Well, he usually just scares them off. Or if that fails, impaling usually works."

Sano paled a few shades, and decided he best leave whilst Saito's wife had him on his leash. "A-anyway, I should probably get going. Work to do, and all that stuff."

"Are you sure? You're welcome to stay."

"No he's not."

"Quiet!"

"No—I really should be getting back."

"Well, it was so nice to meet you," Tokio said as she smiled warmly at him. "Feel free to drop by whenever you like."

"If you come anywhere near this house again, I'm going to hunt you down and kill you in the street."

"Oh don't listen to him—he's only kidding."

"Of course, dear. It'll be a back-alley, and I'll leave the body so mutilated that when the _real_ police find it, they won't be able to work out if it was a person or not..."

"Nonsense. He wouldn't dare do that, because then I would be _disappointed_ in him," Tokio said, placing a great deal of emphasis on the word 'disappointed', and sending a glare in his direction.

Sano stood deathly still, and wondered if he could get out of the room without being seen.

"Anyway, we've kept you long enough. Hajime will show you to the door. Won't you, Hajime?"

The wolf paused for a moment. "It's only a door. I'm sure he can find it himself."

"_Won't you_, Hajime?"

"... yes, dear," the wolf replied in apparent defeat.

With that, Saito stood in one swift motion, and left the room without so much as glancing at his once more smiling wife. Sano took one last glimpse at the goddess, smiled somewhat shyly, and walked after Saito. A few moments later, he had brushed past the furiously scowling man, and was standing outside.

"Well, Saito, it's been fun; but I gotta go," Sano smirked, throwing caution (and his bodily safety) to the wind.

Saito was unimpressed. "You breathe one word of this to anyone, and you will wake to find yourself missing your extremities one morning."

"Uhh..."

"Run."

Sano did just that.

* * *

It wasn't long before Sano was making his way back through familiar streets. His little run-in with the wolf and his wife and temporarily distracted him from his current, pinky predicament.

None the less, a few minutes of people pointing and sniggering soon reminded him why he was so loathe to come out in the first place, and quickly made his way back to the Akabeko before anyone else he knew recognised him.

Sneaking in the back way, and throwing a quick wave to the kitchen staff, he crept around the back rooms, hoping to find somewhere out of the way to hide from Tae.

"Sanosuke-han, you're back!"

Too late. "Hey, uh... I was just coming to find you..."

"Nice try. You're seven minutes overdue," Tae smirked, holding out a western-style pocket watch. It wouldn't have surprised Sano if she had bought it especially for the occasion.

"Cut me some slack! She wanted me to stay!"

"Didn't you say no?"

"Of course I did! But then she asked again... like, really nicely, and uh..." Sano couldn't quite work out how to diplomatically word the phrase, "my hormones kinda took over."

Tae smiled. "Well, I suppose I should believe you. She has that effect on men, I suppose. Such nice people, the Fugita family, don't you think?"

_'"Fugita family"? But that would mean that Tae had no idea who Saito _really_ was...'_

He decided to play along. "Yeah, I guess so. Husband seems a bit snarky, if you ask me..."

"Goro-kun? Snarky? But he's such a nice, pleasant man!"

Sano wondered how Tae would react if he told her that the 'nice, pleasant man' had once skewered Kenshin... and chose not to find out. "Anyway, I take it you've got something else unpleasant for me to do?" Sano asked with an air of despair in his voice.

"Not really, you've worked hard this morning, so I think you've earned a lunch break." With that, she handed him a bentou box, and headed back into the restaurant.

Sano looked down at the box in his hands. 'Lunch break?' he thought incredulously. Up until now, he had been under the distinct impression that Tae was trying to punish him... make him break down and cry, even.

Then again, he'd said it himself that morning: Tae was a good-natured woman at heart. This was _undeniably_ revenge for all the bills he'd passed on, but that didn't mean she wanted him to suffer unduly.

Sano stared after her for a few minutes before finally digging into his lunch.

* * *

Time passed, and Sano enjoyed his lunch thoroughly. One of the cooks had even slipped a fake order into the box, which read:Order: 1 x serve of get me the hell outta here Table: where the poor bastard in pink is sitting

Sano chuckled a bit at that. He needed a good laugh. Dropping the box back in the kitchen, he gave the cooks a quick "thanks" before heading back towards the front of the restaurant.

Cautiously, he peeked his head out of the doorway, checking for anyone he knew. Apparently, the peanut gallery had dispersed sometime while he was out and about, probably because the entertainment had mysteriously disappeared. He supposed that since things couldn't get any worse, they were slowly starting to get better.

Satisfied that no one he knew was around, he stepped into the restaurant...

...and immediately dived for cover as if someone had thrown a grenade at him. He stood on shaking legs as he pressed his back to the wall, hiding himself from the restaurant. He mentally cursed himself for using the "can't get any worse" axiom, and tried to bring his breathing under control.

Now, if he was _lucky_, he had been seeing things. It _wasn't_ her. It was just some other random woman that looked _exactly_ like her. He peered around the corner.

Nope. No luck, after all.

It was her.

Megumi had come for a visit.

_'Ok,'_ he said to himself, now_ things can't get any worse.'_ What a tragic mistake that was.

"Megumi-san! It's so good to see you," he heard Tae exclaim from the restaurant as she spotted the young doctor. "Do sit down—it's been ages since we've had a chat. Service to table five!"

The blood drained from Sano's face. _He_ was on table five.

* * *

"What a nice young man," Tokio remarked, sipping her tea. "You must be very fond of him."

"He's an idiot; a complete and utter moron who wouldn't know intelligent thought from a bowl of noodles."

"Yes, yes... have it your way. Speaking of which, when are you going to invite Battousai-san and his wife over for dinner?"

"One: she's not his wife—she's his landlady."

"Oh rubbish. He's been living there half a year now. According to Tae-chan, they're just running around each other... it's only a matter of time before _one of them_ makes a move..."

"Two: it will be a cold day in hell before he sets foot in this house."

"I imagine the engawa gets very cold at night if you haven't got any blankets..."

"... I'm not inviting him, _or_ his little circus troupe."

"... or clothes."

Silence descended over the couple.

"Next weekend, Hajime?"

"I'll get you for this, woman."

"No you won't—I'm your wife."

* * *

**Author's Rambling**

Four months to the day. Wow. Talk about slack. In my defence, I had a fairly hectic holidays, and I _really_ needed the rest. None the less, to those of you that stuck around to read this chapter, my thanks.

As for this chapter, it was really quite hard to write. I had a lot of trouble fleshing out the scene with Sano, Saito and Tokio. I hope I made it believable, without being too corny.

Also, parts of this chapter were written on a plane, so any spelling mistakes should be attributed to my already poor handwriting made worse by the turbulence.

And for everyone who pointed it out, _yes_ it was Saito, and _yes_ it was blindingly obvious... next time you won't get _ANY_ clues as to who it is...

...I'll just tell you outright :P Yes, this chapter finally sees Megumi show up. What, you didn't seriously expect me to let Sano off without making him face the Kitsune, did you? Things should get crazier in the next chapter, as Sano resorts to desperate measures.

I should also point out that I made a few changes to previous chapters, fixing spelling, grammar, etc. I did make one other alteration to chapter 3: I added a bit of dialogue from Tae, telling Sano which tables he would be working at. Normally, my policy is to always keep one chapter in "buffer" so I can introduce plot points surreptitiously if I need them. But since I took so long to get chapter 3 out, I posted it before started chapter 4. Thus, the bit of sneakiness on my part. I don't think it detracts from the horror of having Megumi there... it just ties the two chapters together a little more neatly.

I'm also warning you that the next three chapters are the least... "fleshed-out" of the story. I know what I want to do to poor Sano, but the details aren't really fixed yet. Hopefully, Chapter 5 won't take _four months_ to write.

Until then,

Ja, ne

–賜狼審神

_23rd February, 2006_

_This chapter's title is, of course, from an old rhyme/tale. I can't for the life of me remember what it's called, or how it goes. I just remember the phrase: "'Welcome to my parlor', said the spider to the fly." Seemed appropriate._

**Special Thanks**

...once again go to Author-chan for proof-reading this for me.


	6. Ch 5: Sanosuke, Waiter in Disguise

**A Job for Sanosuke**

_Chapter 5 – Sanosuke, Waiter in Disguise_

By Shirou Shinjin.

**Disclaimer:** I have not, do not, and most likely will never own Rurouni Kenshin, or its characters. They belong to various evil corporations, and the wonderful Watsuki-sama. I'm just going to borrow them for a bit, k?

* * *

Sano's usual bravado and sense of daring was immediately replaced with full-blown panic. Tae wanted him out there... but then Megumi would see... he'd _never_ hear the end of the barbs from her... and her tongue was sharp enough as it was, thank you very much.

Sano's mind ceased to work rationally, and he suddenly had the idea of running out the back of the Akabeko, disappear down a darkened alley, and finding a nice remote forest to hide in for the rest of his life. Couldn't be that bad, all things considered.

Just then, Tsubame came around the corner to see what Tae wanted. Desperately, he grabbed her by the shoulders and calmly explained the situation. "Megumi's out there! What the hell am I going to do!"

Tsubame, getting over the shock of suddenly being grabbed by the brightly clothed man raised a small hand over her mouth. "Oh dear..."

"Yeah, no kidding. If I go out there, it's all over I tell you!"

"Hello? Anyone out there?" they heard Tae call again. Time was running short.

"What am I going to do..." Sano whispered miserably. He _really_ didn't want to go out there, but to incur Tae's wrath now would just compound the problem. He hung his head in despair.

Meanwhile, Tsubame was intently studying Sano's hair. She carefully reached up, and tugged on one of the spikes, surprised to find it wasn't as hard as she would have expected. "Sanosuke-san," she asked quietly, "have you ever considered brushing your hair?"

The question caught Sano off guard, and he stared blankly at the girl for a moment. "No, not really."

Tsubame nodded to herself, then began dragging him hurriedly towards the rear exit. "Quick, this way." Not knowing what else to do, Sano followed. In a few moments, she had led him to the well in the back yard, and began hauling a bucket of water up. Sano reached down and took over the job, lifting the heavy bucket from the well's depths.

Once it was up, Sano leaned over forwards, hanging his head once again. "I don't see how a bucket of water is going to help," he added miserably.

"Sorry about this," Tsubame said softly. Sano was about to ask what she was sorry for when a bucket-load of fresh, freezing cold water was dumped over his head, drenching his hair, and matting it to his face.

Spluttering, he tried to lift his head up, only to find the small girl had already removed his bandanna, and was hard at work brushing his hair with a small comb she had produced from somewhere. Dumbfounded, he just stood there as Tsubame gave him an impromptu makeover.

Her job made easier by the particular style she had chosen, and the bucketful of water, Sano's hair was soon arranged, and she stepped back to inspect her work. Apparently satisfied, Tsubame tucked the comb into her obi, and motioned for him to look at his reflection in another nearby, and conspicuously full, bucket.

Gone were the trademark spikes, replaced instead by a haircut that looked vaguely like something captain Sagara would have worn. Half of his considerable mass of hair was draped over the right side of his face, obscuring it completely. The rest was hastily draped down the back of his head, just touching the top of his back.

He looked like a completely different person.

She'd _never_ recognise him.

A grin slowly broke out on Sano's face as he took in his new hairstyle. "Quick thinking there, Tsubame-chan!"

Tsubame smiled happily.

"A little _too_ quick," he said, pointing to the bucket of water that he had been checking his reflection in... a bucket full of _warm_ water instead of_ freezing cold_ water.

Tsubame blushed slightly at her haste. Sano just laughed, and gave her a pat on the head, "don't sweat it; I think you just saved me."

As they walked back through the kitchen, Tsubame stopped him, and suddenly draped a nearby dishcloth over his bandaged right hand. "So it doesn't give you away," she explained.

Sano grinned, grabbed a notepad to take the orders, and strode out to face his destiny.

* * *

"Honestly, I don't know what's taking her so long... probably out the back with Yahiko," Tae giggled as she commented on the lack of the usually helpful service. "Maybe I should go see if anything's wrong..."

"Not to worry—looks like someone's coming, now."

"There you are Ts..." Tae turned in her seat to confront the latecomer, but instead stopped in mid-sentence as she took in the new-look Sano.

"I see you've hired some new help," Megumi noted, raising an eyebrow at him. "But did you _really_ have to dress him up in _pink_?"

Tae wiped the look of shock from her face as she turned back to her friend. "Uh, yes. I was a... bit understaffed today."

"Can I take your orders, ladies?"

Tae's head whipped around again to make sure this person was _actually_ Sano. He hadn't just changed his hairstyle, he was now being polite! He'd even dropped his voice an octave or two, making him sound older. It was like some charming, good-looking and refined man had come in, stuffed Sano into a cupboard somewhere and stolen his outfit.

Sano must have been desperate.

"I'm afraid I'm not staying long, so just a cup of tea for me, thank you," Megumi replied warmly to the nice gentleman in the horrible kimono.

"Aah, I'm alright, thanks," Tae replied in a somewhat unsure voice.

"Very good," Sano intoned, giving them a quick bow, and retreating out the back as fast as proprietary would allow.

"What a polite young man. Is he permanent?" Megumi asked Tae as she fiddled with something in her sleeves.

"Um, not really. I'm giving him a trial-run for today."

"How's that working out?"

Tae felt some of her wit recovering from the shock, and a smile spread over her face. "Not too sure. He may have to stay for a few more days before I decide..."

Tae could swear she heard a yelp come from the back.

And so, what started with one cup of tea soon turned into one of those marathon chatting sessions that women tend to get into. And each time he returned with more tea, or some onigiri or other snack for the women, Megumi would look at him closely... far too closely for Sano's comfort. Sano wasn't the only one that noticed.

"Megumi-san, why do you keep staring at the waiter?" Tae asked, as Sano was taking the order for an elderly gentleman in the booth behind them.

"It's the strangest thing... I get the feeling I know him, but I can't work out where from..."

"Hot pot, and some tea, please." Tae could almost hear Sano holding his breath as he tuned out everyone else around him (much to the annoyance of his customer.)

"Well," Tae said, "you see so many people every day, he could just be someone you once treated. He may even just _look like_ someone you've treated."

"That's true... still..." Megumi said as she began tapping a nail against the table.

"I said, hot pot and some tea." Sano's now mildly aggravated customer repeated as Sano continued to ignore him.

Megumi snapped her fingers. "That's it—I know who it is!"

"Oh?" asked Tae, wondering if Sano was still remembering to breathe.

"He looks just like that Genko-san fellow who came in with that nasty rash!" Megumi exclaimed, pleased that she'd worked out the connection.

Sano's customer was now _very_ aggravated. "HOT POT..."

"Yes, yes; right away..." Sano said, placating the customer, before mumbling, "impatient old fart," under his breath.

When he returned with the order, however, Megumi seemed to be brooding over something. Sano was just in time to see Tae lean over.

"What's wrong, Megumi-san?"

"Hmm? Oh nothing."

"Doesn't look like nothing..." Tae observed.

"Are you going to give that to me?" Sano's customer asked, pointing at the small sukiyaki pot.

Megumi sighed. "It's just... that idiot rooster head was supposed to come by today..."

"To have his hand checked?" Tae asked with a smile.

"Well, he didn't really specify, but why else would the idiot come to the clinic?" Megumi replied, then tried to avoid eye contact. Was that a look of... disappointment on the Kitsune's face?

"Are you listening to me? Hey!" Sano's customer had begun to poke him incessantly in the side to try to get his attention.

"What? Oh fine, here!" Sano harshly whispered, shoving the pot on to the table, then returning to his eavesdropping.

"You seem upset that he hasn't come to see you, Megumi-san..."

"What!" Megumi spluttered. "What makes you think _I_ care if that rooster-headed free loader comes over to harass me or not?"

Sano was now sitting across from the elderly man he'd been serving, in an attempt to stay hidden. "Why are you still here?"

"I'm eavesdropping, now quiet."

"Come on," Tae coaxed, "no one's here; you can tell me."

Megumi seemed adamant about not saying anything, but Tae kept gently prodding. "It helps to talk about these things—get them out of your system."

"That's not very nice, you know," the old man pointed out as he took a loud slurp of tea.

"Who cares? Shhh!"

"I suppose... I mean, this is _strictly_ between us, right?"

"I think I should tell them what you're doing."

"Look," Sano said in exasperation, digging into his pockets, "here's... 42 ryo."

The old man sighed. "Must be getting senile... talking to people who aren't there..."

"Absolutely," Tae said, nodding.

"Well..."

"Hold on a second. Excuse me," she said, turning around and tapping Sano on the shoulder. "Would you be so kind as to go get some tea and ohagi?" Busted. With as big a smile as he could muster, he got up and went off the find the tea and ohagi as fast as humanly possible.

"That's better—can't chat on a dry throat! Now, tell me all about it..."

* * *

A few minutes later, Megumi was waving goodbye to Tae and off down the street to the clinic. Sano, on the other hand, was sitting in the back room with Tsubame, just waiting to fume at Tae. Tsubame was munching on some onigiri. It wasn't long before Tae walked in with a large grin on her face.

"We don't _have_ any ohagi here, do we?"

"No, not that I'm aware of. I had to get rid of you somehow."

Tsubame looked up at Sano, "I could have told you that, Sano-san."

Sano groaned. "Well why didn't you tell me then?"

"You didn't ask."

Sano scowled, and Tae just kept smiling.

"Nice hair by the way—very creative. I assume that was Tsubame's doing?" to which she received a happy smile from the young girl. "Although I must say, the manners suited you very nicely. You should try that more often, Sanosuke-han. The voice was a bit much, though..."

"I had to do _something_. What else did you expect me to do?"

"Well, you _could_ have sent Tsubame out."

"Hey, _you_ were the one that told me I was doing table five this morning!" Sano shot back.

"Actually, when you went to do the delivery, Tae-san put me on table five, Sano-san," Tsubame pointed out between bites of rice. Sano's eyes went as wide as sake saucers.

"But... but..." he stammered, "why didn't you tell me?" he asked, a certain hint of desperation kicking in.

"You didn't ask."

Sano sighed heavily.

Tae stifled a laugh.

"Now, now. Look at it this way, it's over. She didn't recognise you, and I didn't tell her a thing. So Tsubame, you finish off your snack, and then both of you back to work, ok?"

"Yeah, yeah..." Sano mumbled as Tae walked out of the room.

Tsubame quickly finished off her onigiri, then looked up at Sano as he was "fixing" his hair. A few stray strands flopped down over his face, as he fruitlessly tried to blow them away. Sano glanced down, and caught her smile, before both of them burst into laughter.

Yahiko chose this moment to make his reappearance. He seemed to have calmed down from his earlier bout of laughing. He eyed the two suspiciously. "What are you two laughing about?"

Sano and Tsubame quickly quelled their laughter, as Sano looked over and pointedly said, "nothing," before they walked out the front together.

Yahiko scratched his head for a minute, before deciding he didn't really care, and wandered off, looking for Tae.

* * *

The day slowly wore on, and Sano found he was becoming a little less self-conscious. Sure, he still hated the evil pink kimono, but after sharing a few laughs with Tsubame, he found it wasn't so bad once he got over his own hysterical reaction to it. Maybe what he needed was not blind panic, but serene, peaceful calm.

With the day winding down, and afternoon setting in, he figured he just had the dinner crowd to contend with, and then he'd be free.

"Sanosuke-han, I need you to go run a few errands in town," Tae said, coming up and handing him a list.

There goes serene and peaceful calm.

"Not _again_."

"Now don't be like that—I need you to go get some supplies from the market for tonight. I'm having a get-together with some friends, and want to make something special."

"Can't you send Yahiko?" Sano half asked, half whined. Then he looked at the size of the list. "Ok, guess not. Do I get to take a cart with me?"

"Oh you won't need a cart. Just do a few runs if you have to." Like hell. "And do hurry, I need to get started on this soon!" She gave him a cheerful wave, then went off to harass the other staff.

With a heavy sigh, Sano began making his way out the back. As he was pushing the gate aside, something from that morning came floating back into his mind.

"_In that case, you can come to the markets with me to help me carry things back."_

'_Bah,_' he thought. '_What are the chances they're _still_ out there? Knowing those two, they probably finished hours ago..._'

With that, he hurried on his way to the market.

* * *

"Kaoru-dono, are you ready to go to the market?" Kenshin asked, holding the buckets for the miso across his back.

"Sorry for making you wait, Kenshin," Kaoru replied as she hurriedly locked the gate behind her. They _had_ been meaning to get the shopping done _hours_ ago, but a man and his son had unexpectedly turned up, enquiring about lessons. Knowing her luck, they probably wouldn't end up joining, but she couldn't pass up the opportunity.

"That is quite alright, Kaoru-dono. Perhaps you will have a new student soon."

"I hope so, Kenshin. We'd better hurry to the market if we're going to get this done in time."

With that, they hurried on their way to the market.

* * *

**Author's Rambling**

Well, how about that. You _didn't_ have to wait four months :P

This chapter was written in _record_ time, and Author-chan was once again good enough to go nit-picking through it to clean it up a bit.

Now usually, when I've finished writing a new chapter, I will spend a few days just reading it over and over again, looking for mistakes; not to mention all the times I re-read the earlier parts as I'm writing. Since this chapter hasn't gotten as much scrutiny, feel free to point out any mistakes I've missed so I can fix them up.

Now, the next chapter is going to be interesting to write. Unlike the previous ones, chapter 6 is going to be much "busier". After all, they're going to be playing hide-and-seek in a busy Tokyo market.

Until then,

Ja, ne

–賜狼審神

_23rd February, 2006_

_And just in case you haven't worked it out, try singing the title to the tune of "Transformers, Robots in Disguise!" (evil grin)_

**Special Thanks**

As always, to Author-chan for being my beta. Oh, and everyone who suck around and waited for this long-overdue update.


	7. Ch 6: Hide and Seek in Downtown Tokyo

**A Job for Sanosuke**

_Chapter 6 – Hide and Seek in Downtown Tokyo_

By Shirou Shinjin.

**Disclaimer:** I have not, do not, and most likely will never own Rurouni Kenshin, or its characters. They belong to various evil corporations, and the wonderful Watsuki-sama. I'm just going to borrow them for a bit, k?

* * *

People had always made way for Sano; he had always assumed that if it wasn't his unusual height, then it must have been the dangerous air about him that made people step aside when he walked past.

Of course, he suspected that it had more to do with what he was wearing at the moment than anything else. He had been rather startled at first when he found that the majority of people he passed were less interested in mocking him then they were in staring dumbfounded at him. One particular man, who had been pushing a cart full of fresh vegetables, had very nearly thrown his entire load into a river as he stared at Sano. Sano thought this served him right.

Farther down the road, an elderly woman sitting in the shade of a stall selling kimono fabrics looked at him like he'd clearly lost not just his marbles, but the sack they'd come in to boot. Sano gave her a look of disdain and moved on.

The exception had been the little girl that had clapped as he'd walked past, and chattered happily about the "cute man" to her parents. For some reason, Sano couldn't help but feel a little proud at that... and it kinda scared him.

Inwardly, he was thankful that the day was beginning to wind down, and that the throngs of people that would normally pack into the small street had by and large moved on. It not only meant less people to gape at him, but more room to move about with what was sure to be a colossal pile of groceries.

Feeling that the quicker he got this over with, the better, he strode up to the closest fish stall, and stood at the end of the short line. The upper-class looking woman standing in front of him turned around after a few moments, and openly sized him up, before giving him a discourteous sniff.

"So poor you have to wear women's clothes, I see..." she commented snidely, her sense of superiority no doubt swelling.

Sano snorted in response. "Hey, looks better on me than it would on you," he retorted, waving his hand dismissively at her and moving into a more manly pose. The woman looked scandalised for a moment, before turning her nose up in disgust at him and turning away to order her fish.

A cocky grin broke out over his face before Sano realised that what he had just said was quite possibly the first and _only_ intelligent, witty retort he had ever come up with... and no one he knew was there to hear it. And even if he _did_ tell her, the fox probably wouldn't believe him. Rats.

The line slowly moved forward.

Hearing a muffled yell behind him, Sano turned back to the crowd. There were two men, both carrying tall stacks of boxes who had nearly collided with each other. The man on the left was carefully steadying his load whilst the other was being helped by a pretty young woman with long, raven-black hair wearing a colourful blue kimono and equally fetching magenta ribbon...

* * *

Kaoru placed the last box of dried fruit back in the man's arms and accepted his thanks with a small smile. She turned to see Kenshin walking up to her, idly watching the man leave.

"What happened, Kaoru-dono?" he asked.

"Oh, he had a bit of an accident. He nearly lost the whole pile when he bumped into someone else," she replied as she dusted her hands off.

"Well, it was a good thing that you were there, Kao..."

He was interrupted as a small crashing sound came from a nearby stall. They both glanced over to the fish stall they had been heading for earlier, to see several customers looking around in confusion, as if something had just disappeared. No one seemed hurt, and nothing appeared to be broken, so Kaoru shrugged it off and headed over to buy the fish. Kenshin also shrugged, before following with a small smile on his face.

* * *

The signal took only a moment to get from Sano's brain to his legs. With amazing speed, and a shocking lack of grace, he dived off to the side of the stall and into a pile of foul-smelling crates, the previous occupants of which he really didn't want to know about.

Peering out through the wooden crates, he looked hesitantly over to where the rurouni and Jou-chan stood, looking at where he had been moments before. It had been an act of pure desperation, but he couldn't think of anything else to do. Jou-chan might already know, but he'd be _damned_ if Kenshin was going to find out! He only hoped that Jou-chan would destract Kenshin enough that he wouldn't sense him nearby.

Apparently, she was doing a fine job as he visibly shrugged, and followed Jou-chan over to the stall. While they were engrossed with choosing a suitably fresh-looking fish or two, Sano carefully dug himself a tunnel out of his impromptu burrow, and scampered around the corner when their backs were turned.

He waited until he was sure they had moved on before rounding the corner again. Sure enough, there was no sign of either of them, and he let out a sigh of relief as he walked back up to the stall.

"I don't suppose you're going to tell me _why_ you leaped into that pile of crates?" the owned asked him with a raised eyebrow, his finger idly tapping the counter.

"Uh, I'd really rather not," Sano replied, hesitantly glancing over his shoulder.

"Alright. What will it be, then?"

Was that red he saw? Wait... "what?"

"I said, 'What will it be, then?'," the man repeated, his stony look of disinterest unmoved.

"Oh, uh..." Sano mumbled as he scanned the fish on display. "Four of those," he said, pointing at the fish Tae had indicated on his shopping list, before turning back to scan the crowd. Where had they _gone_!

The man slowly, and utterly without any concern to how dangerous it was for Sano to be out in the open like this, began wrapping up the fish he'd ordered. One by one. By the time he had carefully wrapped the last fish and placed it before him, Sano was practically bouncing on the spot like Misao after she'd been introduced to "coffee" the first time. "Is that all you would like today, or would you like something else?" the owner asked very slowly, and very deliberately.

Sano caught a glimpse of blue. Blue! It could be... oh wait, no ribbon. Nevermind. Wasn't the guy _done_ yet!

"Perhaps some nice tuna—I've got some excellent samples in the back that I could go and get for you if..."

"What! No, look; just that!"

"Are you sure? I could go out back and take a look..."

"No; I... just... here!" Sano barked as he slammed what he hoped was enough on the table, grabbed the fish, and ducked into the nearest alleyway.

The owner meanwhile, smiled to himself; pleased to have swindled the extra few sen out of the crazy impatient man in pink before turning to his next customer.

Back in the alley, Sano was trying to get his breathing under control. They were here! Why, why, _why_ did they have to be here _now_! Of all the lousy timing...

Hanging his head, Sano looked down at the shopping list Tae had written. It occurred to him that the majority of the items were somewhat... unusual. Things like gourmet herbs and things he was sure he'd never heard of.

In a rare show of intelligence, a light went on in Sano's head: if he stuck to the weird stuff _first_, then the odds were that Kenshin and Jou-chan would be off getting the regular stuff they got when they went shopping, and he'd be able to avoid them!

Nodding in satisfaction with his plan, he started making his way to the herb stall indicated on the list.

* * *

Kaoru felt a gentle hand on her shoulder as she pushed her way through to the rice merchant. Turning, she regarded Kenshin peering off into the crowds. "What's wrong, Kenshin?"

"Nothing, Kaoru-dono," he replied with an easy smile. "This one just wanted to go purchase some herbs for dinner. This one's supply is running a little low, and there is an excellent stall near here," he added, nodding in the appropriate direction.

Kaoru nodded and smiled. "Alright—I've always loved those stalls... they smell so wonderful!"

* * *

Sano looked right. Fat, short guy, old woman in blue kimono, pair of children playing in the street.

Sano looked left. Young couple walking down the street, old guy yelling at children across the street, creepy guy in western suit trying to sell creepy western gadgets.

Sano glanced behind him. Man from earlier with big pile of packages, man with an exceptionally large fish in one hand, and a young mother frantically trying to catch her errant children.

Sano smiled. No Kenshin, and no Kaoru. He was safe, for the moment.

"Oro!"

Sano almost leapt out of his skin as he remembered to look _in front of himself_, and barely managed to keep from running straight into Jou-chan's back. She had stopped to keep Kenshin from tripping over whatever it was that had made him lose his footing. _'So much for safe,'_ he thought as he ducked into the nearest stall he could find.

_'What the hell is going on?'_ he thought to himself. _'First the fish stall, now _this_. If I didn't know better, I'd say they were following me!'_

This time, he resolved to keep an eye on them, and watch which way they headed—and go in the opposite direction.

"Aah, I've been expecting you," an aged voice croaked behind him.

"What?" Sano exclaimed, darting his gaze to the woman seated behind him.

"I said I've been expecting you," she repeated through the haze that seemed to permeate the tiny room they were in.

"Yeah right," Sano mumbled, trying to keep an eye on the rurouni through the bustling crowds.

"Indeed I have. I foresaw you coming to see me, yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes! You are a man with questions. A man with questions who seeks answers. Answers that I can give you, mmm," the woman said, nodding to herself.

"What on earth are you babbling on about?" Sano demanded, finally turning to face the woman.

"I am..." she began, before pausing for dramatic effect. "A seer."

Sano rolled his eyes and turned back to the crowd. Which was now missing one rather conspicuous redhead. "Damn! I don't suppose you can see a short guy with red hair?" he muttered, furious with himself for losing Kenshin at a critical time like this.

"A red haired man? I shall..." she paused once again, "attempt to find him." The woman now began rubbing her temples and making weird noises in the back of her throat. Sano was still looking for Kenshin.

"Ooh!" the woman suddenly exclaimed. "I see him!"

Sano whipped around. "What? Where?"

"I see him... the man with red hair..."

"Yes; where is he?"

"He is... with another..."

"Yes... and!"

"He has spurned your love for him."

"And he... WHAT!" Sano all but screeched.

"I can see it in your eyes..." the woman replied, staring into him. "You burn with passion for this man."

Sano was actually speechless.

"You desperately try to show him your feminine side, but he has spurned your love for another man."

"I... you... you're crazy!" Sano spluttered, at a lack for anything else to say.

"No! You are, child! You hide your feelings from him—you must go to him and declare your passions before him!"

Sano had had quite enough of this. "Damnit! This is ridiculous—I'm out of here!"

"Wait! Come back! You haven't paid... oh damn. I didn't have to be a prophet to see _that_ coming. Oh well, I'll get a fortune right one of these days..."

With that, she lit up another cigarette—the stall was running low on ominous smoke...

* * *

Sano frantically searched the bustling crowds, his eyes darting to and fro, seeking even a glimpse of red hair.

Nothing.

He cursed his own haste, having now lost the rurouni and Jou-chan, and thus having no idea where they went. Nonetheless, they weren't here now, so he may as well pick up those herbs Tae wanted. He quickly strode over to the stall, bought the herbs and disappeared back into the side-streets, checking over his shoulder all the while.

On his way to the next stall to buy some fancy noodles, he very nearly ran straight into the redhead as he was about to leave an alley. He barely managed to hide behind a pile of shipping crates when he heard Kenshin talking to Kaoru.

As he argued with a vendor over the price of the Kobe beef, a faint "oro" drifting on the wind was his only warning to hurry up and get out of the area.

After fifteen minutes of these near-misses, Sano was convinced he was being followed. But that didn't make any sense since half the time Kenshin and Jou-chan were _ahead_ of him... Thankfully, he was now more or less finished with the groceries. Carefully double-checking the list in his right hand and the gargantuan pile of packages balanced precariously on his left, he nodded in satisfaction and made to leave...

...right as his unknowing pursuers rounded the corner.

With no time to look, he darted into the nearest building, and hid around the doorway. If the shop's owner noticed, they didn't mention it. As they neared, he could make out their conversation.

"...and it had three holes in it, and I really wanted one!" Kaoru chattered excitedly.

"Well, this one will have to look into it next time he is in the area."

"Mmm. Oh, hey! Look at that fabric! It's just what I've been after!"

_'Uh oh.'_

"Are you making a new kimono, Kaoru-dono?"

"Well, it has been a while... and my yellow one is getting a bit old. But look at this... it's such a vibrant shade of red! I'll just go ask the seller how much it is."

_'No no no! Yellow is good; yellow is great! Don't come in here!'_ Sano thought, starting to panic. He could hear Kaoru pick up the bolt of cloth, and the unhurried clacking of her geta as she walked to the doorway, and the scraping of Kenshin's zori as he followed. If they stepped inside, they'd see him immediately.

He was getting ready to just rush past them and hope they didn't recognise him when...

"Kaoru-dono. It is getting a little late. Perhaps you could come back tomorrow when you have more time and take a more thorough look around. You would not want to make a hasty purchase."

The beads of sweat slowly trickled down Sano's face as Kaoru thought on this, the pair standing just shy of his hiding spot.

"I suppose you're right, Kenshin. Besides, you're already carrying enough for one day." He heard her put the bolt back on the table, and walk away with the rurouni.

As soon as this was over, he was going to buy Kenshin a _big_ bottle of sake. Of course, he couldn't ever tell him _why_, but that didn't matter.

Deciding not to push his luck, he darted out of the door as soon as he felt it was safe, and made his way back to the Akabeko in record time.

* * *

"Welcome back, Sano-han. I see you managed to get everything on the list!" Tae said, greeting him emphatically once he got back to the Akabeko. Sano's response was a weak grumble, which Tae mistook for him being tired. "Not to worry, just one more thing to do today, and then you're free."

"Yeah, yeah... I got it. Taking care of the evening crowd, right?" Sano asked, putting down the last of the parcels and making his way back towards the front.

"Oh heavens, no. Yahiko and Tsubame can take care of that. I need your help with something... special."

"I don't like special. Special means painful," Sano replied flatly.

"Don't be silly, Sano-han," Tae said with a big smile. "I'm having some friends over, remember? I'll need your help with preparing the meal, and getting it all out to them. Since there are so many people, the dishes are probably a bit big for Tsubame and Yahiko to handle."

On the surface, this seemed to be perfectly logical and wholly reasonable. But by now, Sano had learned that Tae could be unspeakably evil whilst still being perfectly logical and wholly reasonable. She was just wily like that. At least the kitsune was up-front...

"I don't suppose I really have a choice, do I?"

Tae beamed. "You catch on quick! Now, go grab some woks, and get them on the fire in the kitchen..."

* * *

All in all, preparing the meal hadn't been too bad. A bit hot, maybe, but Tae handled most of the cooking. He was usually relegated to ingredient-fetching type tasks, which he was perfectly happy with. Oddly, Tae seemed to be perfectly happy as well. Sano really, _really_ hoped that was just because she had been enjoying her torture of him thus far, and not because she was looking _forward_ to something.

An hour or so after they began, the meal was ready. Tae left to see her now-arriving guests into the private booth whilst Sano guarded the food in the kitchen from the vulture-boy Yahiko. He'd been eyeing the delicious-smelling food for the last half an hour, and Sano was under strict orders to keep him out of it. And himself, much to his disappointment.

"Come on... just one piece!" Yahiko pleaded for the fourth time in the last thirty seconds.

"Forget it, Yahiko-chan. Ain't gonna happen," Sano asserted, crossing his arms over his chest.

Yahiko scowled and tried to burn a hole through Sano with his eyes. When it was obvious that this wasn't working, he decided to try a different approach. "Look out, Sano!" he exclaimed, pointing at the bubbling woks behind Sano's back. "Something's burning!"

Sano shook his head. "Nice try; but I ain't falling for it."

"How do you know I'm lying?"

"Because—as soon as I've turned my back, you'll reach over and make off with some beef or something!"

"And what if I'm _not_ lying?"

That was the million-yen question. In that case, Sano would be in deep trouble when Tae came back to find her meal ruined. Damnit... outwitted by the little brat. Unless...

Sano sighed heavily. "Oh all right... just _one_ piece, and no more!"

"Alright!" Yahiko whooped and walked over to claim his prize.

Sano got some chopsticks, and pulled a piece of meat out of the closest wok. "Hold out your hands."

Yahiko obliged. Before he knew what had happened, the beef was in Sano's mouth, and Sano's bandanna was tied around Yahiko's hands. "Hey, what the..."

"Ha! Can't steal any meat with your hands tied up like that, can ya?" Sano gloated as he chewed on his ill-gotten beef.

Yahiko started shaking with rage. "You... you... aarrgh!" Yahiko leapt at Sano, who deftly sidestepped, sending Yahiko sprawling onto the floor.

Tae chose that moment to walk into the doorway. "Could you bring out the first course, please? And Yahiko, try not to get your uniform dirty." With that, she retreated back into the private booth.

Sano looked down at Yahiko who just scowled back at him. Sano reached over, and pulled his bandanna off Yahiko's hands and tied it back around his head. "No touching while I'm gone. If I find even one tofu cube missing, I'll tie you to the support beams in the roof."

Threat delivered, he picked up the wok and made his way out the door and into the booth. Inside, Tae was animatedly chatting to one of her friends. Sano made his way to the table and sat the wok down, all the while congratulating himself on his clever foil of Yahiko's devious plan. He then stood up to get a look at Tae's friends.

It was a good thing that Sano had just put the wok down; if he hadn't, he would have dropped it the moment he realised who was sitting around the table.

* * *

**Author's Rambling**

At last, it's over! What? No, I mean this chapter; not the story. Still have one more chapter left, and the epilogue before I'm done here.

As you can probably guess, this chapter took me a while. Aside from being distracted by university, I've also been distracted by my old addiction: _World of Warcraft_, and my new addiction: _The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion_. Not exactly conducive to writing. I'm hoping (but not promising) that the next chapter will be out sooner.

A few notes on this chapter: for those who haven't guessed, the "seer" that Sano meets is a amalgam of Yoda (try saying her third and fourth lines in a Yoda voice to see what I mean), and a Tauren. See, Tauren are these big sentient cows in _World of Warcraft_, and one of the lines they will continually use when you talk to them is "Aah, I've been expecting you." Expecting me? What rubbish; you're just making that up to sound mysterious! Always had a bee in my bonnet about that /grin.

Now, I doesn't surprise me that everyone guessed whose door Sano was standing outside at the end of Chapter 3... but I'm willing to bet a chocolate cookie that no one will guess who is sitting around the table. All I will say is that Sano's _real_ punishment begins next chapter...

Speaking of the next chapter, Tae's revenge will come to a close, things will be wrapped up, and I'll try to throw one last curve-ball your way.

Until then,

Ja, ne

–賜狼審神

_19th April, 2006_

_This chapter's title is _loosely_ based on the title of one of Stephen King's books, _Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas_. I say "loosely based" since they both have the same number of words..._

**Special Thanks**

To SiriusFan13 for giving the chapter the once-over.


	8. Ch 7: A Dish Best Served Cold

**A Job for Sanosuke**

_Chapter 7 – A Dish Best Served Cold_

By Shirou Shinjin.

**Disclaimer:** I have not, do not, and most likely will never own Rurouni Kenshin, or its characters. They belong to various evil corporations, and the wonderful Watsuki-sama. I'm just going to borrow them for a bit, k?

* * *

Sano stared at the people seated around the table with an almost detached sense of horror.

Ginji and Tomo had been pure coincidence, Saito just happened to be married to Tokio, Megumi stopped by by chance, and Kenshin and Kaoru weren't supposed to be at the market... he'd just been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

But this... this was what today had been about all along. Suddenly, the pink kimono made perfect sense.

Seated around the table were eight business owners. Each sold different things to different crowds, but they all had one thing in common: Sano owned them money. A lot of money. A truly staggering amount of money.

And they'd come to collect.

"Aah! Sanosuke, thank you for bringing that in. I take it that you have all been introduced before?" she asked cordially, looking around the table. Sano didn't register her guests nodding mechanically as his own head bobbed out of sheer autonomy.

Oh he knew them all right. Knew every one of them by name. Only it wasn't the name their parents gave them, or the name their friends called them.

He knew each of them by the name of the restaurants they ran.

"Sanosuke-han has very generously offered to help me out tonight, isn't that right, Sanosuke-han?" Tae asked, a sweet smile on her face.

"Yeah."

"In that case, why don't you go and get the tea?"

"Yeah."

Sano slowly turned around, and stepped out of the room, making his way to the kitchen. Yahiko was hovering over the bubbling woks, trying to decide if he could risk sneaking off with some fish, and jumped back when Sano walked in. Sano didn't notice.

Yahiko started gibbering on about something, but Sano couldn't hear him. He picked up the pot of hot water, and some tea. Yahiko might have attacked him to get his attention, but it obviously didn't work. With tea and water in hand, he turned and walked back into the room.

Inside, the restaurant owners still seemed to be in as much shock as he was. They openly gaped at him, unable to understand how on earth Tae had stuffed this lazy, free-loading curse upon all hard-working restaurateurs the world over into a bright pink kimono. Just _how much_ did he owe her, anyway!

For a long while, they stared at each other. Sano desperately wishing he could sink into the earth, and Tae's friends wishing their eyes didn't hurt so much. Finally, one of the older men broke the silence.

"Could I trouble you for some tea, waiter?"

Almost without thinking, Sano walked over to where the man was sitting. Leaning down, he put the tea in the cup, and filled it with hot water. He faintly registered a murmured "thank you" as he stood back up.

"Uh, I'd like some tea, too, waiter."

"Same over here."

"And could I get some extra soy?"

And so Sano went around, refilling tea cups, and handing out condiments. Tae chattered happily with her friends, and smiled knowingly at Sano as he served them. It looked, for all intents and purposes like a perfectly ordinary party with friends.

Strangely, they didn't seem inclined to poke fun at him. They were treating him as if he was just another waiter, largely ignoring his presence except when requesting something, or thanking him. Still, he wasn't getting out of this too easy.

"I must say, Tae-san; you have excellent help tonight," the elderly man who owned the traditional restaurant down the road said to Tae. "Where _did_ you find him?"

"Oh, Sanosuke-han comes around every once in a while. He just... up and offered to help out the other day, and I took him up on his offer."

"Any thoughts to hiring him on a... permanent basis?" another inquired curiously.

"Oh, I don't think so," she said glancing over to where he was cleaning up some used sauce bowls and smiled. "I don't think he's really cut out for the restaurant business."

The man nodded. "Indeed. Although, the uniform is quite... eye-catching."

"You noticed?" Tae asked, clapping her hands together happily. "Isn't it just the most wonderful shade of pink?"

"It's _a_ shade of pink, I'll give it that," he replied.

"You know..." one of the women seating at the table began. "Normally we don't get many men who can move with enough grace to carry around pot-loads of steaming food _and_ tea without tripping over. I'm quite impressed."

Sano had the good grace to acknowledge the compliment, coming as it was from the strangest of sources. By this point, he was beginning to feel like a child handing over a bad report card to his parents, who just shook their heads and said "better luck next time," leaving him feeling suitably shamed.

Before long, he was bringing in more food and drink to the diners. The courses slowly made their way from the kitchen to the dining table, Sano going back and forth for several hours as the night wore on. As Sano was bringing in the final course, Tae clapped her hands together to get the table's attention.

"Now, everyone; I hope you've all enjoyed yourselves tonight," to which she received murmurs of assent from her guests. "But I think it's time we got on to that business we discussed earlier."

_'Business?'_ Sano thought. _'This doesn't sound good...'_

"Before we make a decision, I just wanted to thank Sanosuke-han for being so helpful tonight. It's rare to find someone so eager to help out others, asking nothing in return, isn't that right?"

The group again murmured, and a few nodded at Sano.

"Because that is why we're here, after all. Now, I know many of you are concerned about certain individuals who have been running up rather exorbitant tabs at our restaurants." Sano gulped.

"And whilst we would _all_ like to see those debts paid, I think it might be better to just let bygones be bygones and start afresh."

"But Tae-san!" one of her guests interrupted. "Some of these... _individuals_... have racked up rather considerable tabs! You of all people should know that!"

"Think of the Zanza!" one of them added, pointing out who they were _all_ thinking of.

Tae thought on this. "Very true, Kaito-san. But you don't honestly expect _that_ bill to get paid, do you?"

"Well... no, I suppose not," he admitted sheepishly.

"That's what I'm talking about. Now, none of us could be considered _poor_; we do quite well for ourselves. Letting this go this one time won't plunge our businesses into ruin, as some of us may believe." At this, the more melodramatic members of the group looked around at the suddenly fascinating tatami.

"And I think that Sanosuke-han here has shown us that even if some people, such as Zanza, run up large unpaid bills, there are others who deserve a second chance. Don't you think we should give them the benefit of the doubt?"

The group quietly began discussing amongst themselves as Sano tried to remain invisible in the corner and not bite his nails.

"Are you suggesting we just... let these people eat for free?" one of Tae's guests asked.

"Oh of course not—I'm just suggesting that we accept this as a lesson in how to run a business at a loss, and get on with life. I'm sure that if we are generous to them, they will be more than happy to become paying customers, don't you think, Sanosuke-han?"

Tae's dinner guests turned as one to the suddenly very, very bashful ex-fighter for hire. "Uh... yeah, well... I guess one good turn and all that stuff?" he offered.

The men and women around the table fell silent for a while. Then, the young owner of the seafood joint down town spoke up. "I think Tae-san is right. Sanosuke-san has proved, at least to me, that there may be hope for our free-loaders. After all, we earn nothing from their visits at the moment—would it not be wise to make them into paying customers?"

A small woman sitting across from Tae nodded. "I agree; we only stand to gain from this. If they're willing to pay, I'm willing to welcome them back."

Slowly, each member of the group agreed in turn. "Then it's settled. If they decide in time to pay us something back, then that is their prerogative," at which she glanced over at Sano. "But we will consider the matter settled."

The group nodded in assent, and Tae clapped her hands again. "Very well. In that case, let's all enjoy desert!"

* * *

Sano collapsed against the counter, infinitely relieved that it was finally over. The last of the restaurant owners had said their goodbyes to Tae, and all the used bowls were drying next to the sink.

He just lay there for a while, collecting his scattered thoughts.

"Well done, Sanosuke-han. For a while there, I wasn't sure you were going to make it."

Sano laughed humourlessly. "You weren't the only one."

Silence descended over the room as Tae left to bring in some cups from the dining room.

"Tsubame and the brat?" Sano asked as she came back into the kitchen.

"They closed up and went home a while ago."

"Aah."

_Clink, clink_. Tae started putting the cups away. Sano's stomach rumbled.

Blushing slightly, Sano pulled himself to his feet. Tae laughed lightly to herself, and walked over to a nearby shelf and retrieved something. "Go change and I'll get you something to eat."

"But, uh... I'm kinda short on cash at the moment..."

"Don't worry—this one's on me." She handed him what she was holding and went about finding something quick to make. Looking down, he saw a slightly tatty, old white jacket, with the kanji for "evil" on the back. He grinned, and went upstairs to change.

When he came back down, Tae had already laid out a simple meal for him. Hearing his approach, Tae looked up at him and smiled in approval. "Although I'm quite partial to the kimono, I must say that looks much better on you."

A wide grin broke out on Sano's face. "Thanks." He didn't bother trying to come up with something clever to say; he didn't have to.

He sat down and started to dig in. Tae was quite the cook—even cold, it was delicious.

"So, Sanosuke-han," Tae began, seating herself across from Sano. "I hope that after today we understand each other..."

"Oh yeah," he said around a mouthful of rice. "Perfectly. Crystal. It's cash or the kimono."

"Good to hear."

Sano paused for a moment. "Hey, Tae?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"What you did back there... with the others."

Tae beamed. "Not a problem. I was being honest, you know—you _were_ a help today. Feel free to help out any time you like... I might even let you wear something a little less _conspicuous_ next time..."

Sano laughed. "I'll keep it in mind," he said as he shovelled in the last of the food. "Man, it's not hard to see why you run a restaurant. You should come over to the dojo some time and spare us Jou-chan's cooking."

Tae shook her head. "Now, now. It's not Kaoru-chan's fault she can't cook."

Sano raised an eyebrow.

"It's not that Kaoru-chan _can't_ cook, it's just that she gets distracted, or impatient, or loses her temper with the radishes."

Sano raised the other eyebrow. "You've never actually _tasted_ her cooking, have you?"

Tae gave him a knowing look. "Who do you think tried to teach her to cook?"

"You're responsible for what she calls food!" Sano spluttered.

"I told you—I _tried_ to teach her." Tae looked over to the kitchen. "I like to think that cooking is an art. Like I said, it takes patience, skill and determination."

"I guess... but most women seem to be able to manage."

Tae's face became thoughtful. "True... but most women can't hold a sword," she retorted. "Kenjutsu is an art too, you know. Kaoru will eventually learn to cook, but I doubt I'll ever learn how to fight like she can.

"Kaoru has a lot more spirit than most women I know. But most men judge a woman on her ability to cook or maintain a household. Because of that, she ends up overcompensating, and then she feels down when people make fun of her efforts."

Sano... really couldn't think of anything to say to that. He had to admit, Tae was a lot wiser than he gave her credit for. So he just stood up.

"Well, I suppose I'd better be getting home now. Need any help cleaning up before I go?" he asked.

"No; I'll be fine. Feel free to drop by sometime; I'm sure Yahiko and Tsubame would love to have a hand."

Sano groaned. "Oh man... that brat will have told _everyone_ by now..."

"Oh I wouldn't worry about that. I had a chat with Yahiko about tact."

"You've... got something on him as well, don'tcha?"

"Of course," Tae beamed innocently.

Sano laughed. "Well, I suppose I'll see you around. Next time I come around, I'll give those two a hand with the tables."

"Is that so?"

"It's a promise." And Sano was a man who kept his promises.

* * *

"Oh, Sano, you're coming in rather late," Kenshin said as Sano ambled towards the dojo's porch.

"Hey Kenshin. Yeah, had a long day. Thought I'd drop by."

Kenshin smiled, and went into the kitchen to fetch some tea whilst Sano made himself comfortable on the porch. Kenshin returned in short order, and set the cup down next to Sano.

"So you had a long day, then?"

"Yeah." Sano stared into the cup for a moment before continuing. What was the harm? "I was helping Tae at the Akabeko."

Kenshin nodded.

"You know, waiting tables isn't as easy as it looks. It takes skill... and grace." Sano liked the sound of this and nodded to himself.

"This one can imagine," Kenshin said, the slightest trace of sarcasm drifting into his voice.

"Especially when you've got those tight uniforms on..."

Kenshin looked up at Sano. "Tight?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, she had me in this thing... bit tight around the shoulders, you know?"

Kenshin started down at his own cup, puzzled. "That's odd... this one could have sworn the shoulders were wide enough."

"What?"

"_I had to get someone in just to make it long enough to fit you!"_

"Granted, this one did not have time to take your measurements, but this one thought the kimono would fit you well enough..."

"Kenshin... what are you talking about?"

"_We went to visit Tae-san."_

"The uniform... it had to be altered."

"Yes," Sano said, very, _very_ carefully. "Jou-chan altered it the other day... when you two went to the market... and then when visiting Tae... and then Tsubame... she said..."

"_Well, yesterday she asked me to go find Kaoru-san in the markets. I guess she must have done it while she was over here."_

"You must be mistaken; Kaoru-dono didn't make the alterations..."

"_...I **guess** she must have..."_

"_**We** went to visit Tae-san."_

"...this one did."

The cool evening air stirred a few leaves in the dojo courtyard.

A long silence descended.

A cicada chirped.

"You... made the alterations?"

"Of course."

"So... you knew the whole time?"

"Of course this one did."

"I see."

Sano stared at his cup. Then at his hands. Then at Kenshin's neck.

"I'LL KILL YOU!"

"Aaaah! Sano—you're choking me!"

"BETRAYER! HOW COULD YOU!"

"SanoooOOOooooOOOoooo!"

_Whack!_ Sano's hands dropped from the rurouni's neck as a water bucket somehow collided with the back of his head at high speed.

"Will you be quiet? Some of us are trying to sleep!" Kaoru huffed at the noisy pair, before stomping back to her room and slamming the shoji. Yahiko peered out from his room, sniggered, then closed the door again.

Sano pulled himself back on to the porch, and dropped his head into his hands.

"This is all _your_ fault," he accused through his hands.

Kenshin blinked. "How is it this one's fault that you ran up your bill at the Akabeko?"

"Uh..." Sano pondered this a moment. "Well why didn't you at least _tell_ me what was going to happen?"

Kenshin shrugged. "This one assumed that you knew."

"Kenshin, if I had known that _thing_ was waiting for me, do you really think I would have gone willingly?"

"You went willingly?" Kenshin shot back with a smile.

Sano sighed. He just couldn't win. "Well, at least Jou-chan doesn't know. Jou-chan... doesn't know, right?"

Kenshin fiddled with his cup and looked up at the sky. "I don't think Kaoru-dono needs to know every detail of how you spend your days. I didn't see any reason to mention it to her."

Sano clapped Kenshin on the back. "Thanks for that."

"Of course, if she _asked_ this one directly, I wouldn't lie..."

"Let's just stick to the 'she doesn't need to know' train of thought, ok?"

"What this one doesn't understand is if you didn't want Kaoru-dono to see you, why were you following us at the market?"

Sano spluttered. "Following _you_? I was trying to avoid you! I barely managed to keep out of sigh... wait a second, you knew I was there?"

"Of course this one did. You can't go leaping into a pile of foul-smelling crates while wearing pink and expect me not to notice."

"Oh, yeah..."

"Besides, who do you think kept alerting you to our presence?" Sano just stared at him. "I'm not so clumsy as to trip over _that_ many times..."

Sano shook his head. "I should have known you would sense me."

"Sense you? This one could _smell_ you. What was in those crates, anyway?"

"Didn't want to find out."

Once more, they settled into companionable silence. As they watched the night sky, Sano fell to thinking about what Tae had said about Kaoru.

"I take it you and Jou-chan are going back to the market tomorrow?"

Kenshin looked up at him in mild surprise. "Yes; she did want to look for a new kimono fabric. Why?"

Sano smiled secretly to himself and shrugged. "I'm going to head back to my place and get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast." With that, he waved and was on his way.

It only occurred to him later, lying in bed, that when he told Tae he was going to head home, he'd gone straight to the dojo. "Guess I have more than one debt to pay off..."

* * *

"I still don't see why you're here," Kaoru muttered to Sano. After breakfast, Kaoru and Kenshin had left to spend the morning perusing the stalls for Kaoru's new fabric. It was to their great surprise that Sano announced that he would join them.

Sano grinned back. "Hey, I kinda blew you off the other day; so I'm here now." He looked over at her, and put on his best kicked puppy expression. "Why, don't you want me here?"

Kaoru's flat look didn't change. "I'm just saying it's odd, that's all." She clearly didn't believe he was here out of the goodness of his heart. "I bet you're after something..."

As the two of them bickered, they came upon the last stall for the day. Kaoru broke off the argument, and started sifting through the piles of cloth. That's when something caught his eye.

"_It's just what I've been after! ... It's such a vibrant shade of red!"_

Sano ran his hand over the soft cloth, laced with intricate patterns. Tae was right; she was still a girl at heart.

"Hey, Jou-chan!" he said, pulling the bolt from the pile. "How about this?"

Kaoru snatched the cloth from his hands, and started fawning over it. "Yes! This is just what I was looking for! Thank you, Sano!" she said with an easy smile and bounded off to haggle with the seller. Kenshin wore a wide smile himself.

It wasn't long before Kaoru was finished, and walking back out with her new prize clutched in her arms. As she was walking towards them, beaming with thoughts of her new kimono, Sano heard a group of rough voices from a nearby soba stand. He caught the words "red hair", "pink", "pansy", and a string of rather unflattering terms. One look at Kenshin confirmed that he had heard as well.

"Humph. Come on, let's go, Kenshin," Kaoru said as she made to drag the rurouni off. _'Looks like Jou-chan heard as well...'_

"Hold on there, Jou-chan. I've got to take care of something first." With that, he turned and started striding over to the group of three punks. It didn't take long for them to notice him.

"Oh no, not you."

"Well, well, well. Look who it is. What did I tell you three about making cracks about people's clothes?" Sano cracked his knuckles. "Remember that discussion we had yesterday?"

They gulped.

"I think you might need a reminder."

"Kenshin?" Kaoru asked the rurouni beside her as the three yakuza punks ran screaming from Sano as he tried to follow through on his threat to turn them into soy paste. "Since when has Sano been touchy about what colour you wear?"

Kenshin shrugged. "Who knows," he said enigmatically. "Maybe he's had a change of heart."

* * *

**Author's Rambling**

I can't tell you how good it feels to _finally_ get that done. I've been waiting to spring both of those surprises for a while now. Despite the restaurant owners all gathering together to see Sano dressed in pink was the whole point of the story, I'm actually more fond of the "Kenshin hemmed the kimono" curve ball. I've been setting _that_ one up since I first planned this story out... not to mention that Sano spends all that time avoiding Kenshin when he already knew!

I also like to think that this whole experience would be very humbling for Sano. I feel that after surviving this ordeal, Sano would have grown up just a little bit. This, in turn justifies how he acts towards Kaoru; he's realised that even though she _knows_ he cares about her, and doesn't mean it when he calls her a tomboy or complains about her cooking, it doesn't hurt to treat her like a girl once in a while.

I'm also rather impressed in that this is the longest chapter I've written for this story thus far. I had hoped that the dinner scene would be longer, but I think padding it out wouldn't have helped, and the chapter is long enough as it is.

So what now? I've still got to write the epilogue for this thing. One last plot hole to close up before I'm done. After that, I have two omakes planned; I'm still not sure if they will be posted with the main story or separately, since I _may_ have to raise the rating slightly for one of them...

Also, for those of you who don't check my profile regularly (which is, what... _all_ of you?), I now have a website where I can post my stories. The main advantage of posting them there over (which I will continue to do), is that I can post up different formats and fanart. When I'm done with AJfS, I plan on posting up a "plain HTML" version of the story without all the crud in it (suitable for viewing from your hard drive or PDA), and a nice printable PDF version for, uh... printing.

Speaking of Fanart, that's right—there is fanart for AJfS! sunbune/bunetwo did a picture of Sano in the dreaded pink kimono a while ago, but it didn't have anywhere to live. It's now happily sitting on my website. So if you want to check it out, follow the link from the profile page.

So; just an epilogue and a few omakes to go. Let's see how long this writing stint of mine lasts...

Until next time,

Ja, ne

–賜狼審神

_22nd April, 2006_

_I don't think I need to point out where this chapter's title comes from... do I?_

**Special Thanks**

Goes to Author-chan and SiriusFan13 for giving this chapter the once-over.


	9. Epilogue: Sagara Sanosuke

**A Job for Sanosuke**

_Epilogue – Sagara Sanosuke_

By Shirou Shinjin.

**Disclaimer:** I have not, do not, and most likely will never own Rurouni Kenshin, or its characters. They belong to various evil corporations, and the wonderful Watsuki-sama. I'm just going to borrow them for a bit, k?

* * *

_1884, the 17th year of Meiji._

"...and after that, we never saw him again! He disappeared into the mists of time... good riddance, I always said," Nori said, concluding his tale with a grand sweep of his arms.

Yoshiro shook his head as he balanced a plate of steaming food in his left hand. "Oh not this _again_. Would you give it a rest, grandpa? Stop bothering the customers with your inane fairy-tales."

"It is _not_ a fairy tale! The Zanza was _real_!" Nori asserted, stamping his foot like a temperamental child.

"Just like that time you told me that if I put too much soy in the miso that it would become sentient and devour me while I slept?"

"Hey, I had to get it through that thick skull of yours _somehow_!"

"Look; I'm busy. I have customers to serve. I don't have time for your imaginary free loaders."

"There was nothing imaginary about the Zanza's tab! Behold!" With this, Nori pulled an ageing piece of paper from his sleeve. It looked like it had been folded and re-folded hundreds of times. Most likely because it had.

"Oh spare me..." Yoshiro groaned.

"I kept track of every last bill that demon accrued at this restaurant over the years! Look ye upon it and despair!" his grandfather exclaimed in his best theatrical voice.

"The only thing making me despair is that I'm going to have to put up with this until Thursday when father gets back." Just then, the shifting light drew Yoshiro's attention to the front door, where a new customer had just walked in. "Look, just stay away from the customers and don't scare anyone off like last time!"

"He was a tanuki, I tell you! It was trying to steal my pants!"

"Good God, why me?" he mumbled as he walked over to the reception area. Turning the corner, he got his first look at the man that had just walked in.

He was huge; incredibly tall, and built like an Ox. He had long, spiky brown hair, and a thin layer of stubble on his chin, and he wore a red bandanna around his forehead. For some reason, he felt like he should recognise this man, but couldn't work out from where.

Shrugging it off, he walked up to him. "Welcome, how can I help you today?"

"Hey, is the old geezer around here somewhere?"

"Huh?"

"That crazy old man, Nori. Does he still run the place?"

Yoshiro shook his head, "no; my grandfather passed the business on to my father, although he isn't here right now, so I'm in charge. Grandfather's out the back, but perhaps I can help."

"Well, I still think I'd best speak with your grandpa." With that, he simply brushed past him into the restaurant. _'What an odd person,'_ he thought to himself.

Really, he should have expected his grandfather to act up. But he hadn't been prepared for the howl of terror that came from the old man when he laid eyes on his visitor. His screech sounded like fingernails being dragged across a blackboard as a wrinkled finger shook, pointing in a combination of fear and loathing at the tall man.

"You!" he screeched.

"Hey, nice to see you still remember me! How ya been doing, gramps?" Sano asked, giving him a wave of his hand.

"Get away from me you demon! I don't know why you're here, but I won't have you plaguing my grandson!"

"Oh good grief, please forgive my grandfather—he's getting senile in his old age... and more than a little insane," Yoshiro said, hoping to avoid further insulting the man.

"I'm not insane you ungrateful whelp! This..." he paused for dramatic effect, to convey just how horrible the situation was.

"This is embarrassing, that's what it is," Yoshiro interrupted.

"Quiet! This... is... THE ZANZA!" Nori finished, throwing his arms wide as if describing the one that got away.

Yoshiro was not impressed. "Oh would you cut that out! This 'Zanza' is just a figment of your imagination!"

"Correction: I _was_ Zanza. I haven't answered to that name in years, gramps," Sano said, somewhat grumpily.

"See, he said it hims... I'm sorry, what?"

"I stopped being Zanza years ago. Changed names mostly because I changed my job..."

"Yeah, from being an underworld thug to eating us broke!"

"You mean... he was telling the truth!" Yohsiro exclaimed incredulously.

Sano scratched his neck. "Well, that kinda depends on what he's been saying..."

Nori took a deep breath, and dropped into his storytelling voice. "I told him the truth: that you were a demon, a fiend with an endless appetite; who can eat for hours on end, and still not be satiated. A man who can, single-handed, consume an establishment's entire stock of sake in one sitting.

"A man who has not once paid a bill in his life."

"Yeah, that's about right," Sano admitted a little sheepishly.

Yoshiro's jaw was hanging slack from his mouth. To find out after all these years that the Zanza was real... that meant his grandfather wasn't entirely mad, which wasn't a thought he liked. _That's_ why he felt familiar: he'd had him described so many times it was a wonder he _hadn't_ recognised him. Still, he'd always imagined him to be fatter, and contrary to what his grandfather had told him, he only had one visible head...

"Now, begone foul beast and molest not my poor defenceless grandson!"

"I thought the deal was that as long as I _paid_, you'd let me eat here."

Nori went deathly silent. He'd forgotten about that. "That..." he began, "is assuming you're _capable_ of paying..."

"Oh, I should be able to cover it," Sano replied, a smug grin on his face.

"We'll see... Grandson!"

Nori's shout dragged Yoshiro back to the current situation. "Yes?"

"Go find... Sanosuke-san a table," Nori said, his distaste for the honorific obvious.

"_Sanosuke-san_? What happened to 'foul beast'?"

"Just do it!"

"Fine, fine..." Yoshiro mumbled as he led 'The Zanza' back into the restaurant.

"We'll see just how well-placed Tae-san's faith in you was, demon," Nori mumbled to himself as he followed them.

* * *

"That," Sano said, "was some _very_ fine steak. I haven't had one that good since I left California," Sano said, patting his stomach contentedly.

"You've been to America?" Yoshiro asked, his interest piqued.

"I've been all over the place. America, Europe, Arabia, Mongolia... actually, just got back a few days ago."

"Yes, yes; no one cares," Nori interjected, barging into the conversation. "Now, how would you like to settle the bill, hmm? What do you say to _that_?"

"Actually, just put it on my tab..."

Nori practically exploded. "Aaah! I knew it! I knew this was going to happen! You see! You see, grandson? He is a remorseless demon!" With that, Nori began to pull a piece of paper from his sleeve.

"Oh great... not this again..."

"I kept track of every last bill that demon accrued at this restaurant over the years! And now I have to add something else to it!"

"I wouldn't bother, if I were you," Sano interrupted, waving his hand dismissively.

"Oh, and why is that _beast_?" Nori all but spat.

"_Because_, if you'd let me finish, you can put the meal on the tab..." Sano said before fishing around inside his pocket, picking something out, and dropping it onto the table. "...as well as that."

And there, on the table, sat a small gold ingot. Just... sitting there, like it had some kind of business being associated with someone whose name was used in the very definition of "destitute".

You could have heard a pin falling through the air at that moment. Nori just stared at it, as if Sano had just pulled a miniature horse from his pocket. His brain tried for several seconds to come to grips with the fact that not only was the Zanza putting money on his tab... he was paying it off in full... with a _gold ingot_.

**A _GOLD INGOT_**.

"It's fake. It has to be fake."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but it ain't. Pulled that sucker out of the ground myself. I take it that should be enough to cover what I owe you?"

Nori reached out and poked it experimentally with a finger. When it didn't explode or attempt to poke back, he picked it up. It sure _looked_ like gold. He tried sniffing it, but since he didn't know what gold smelt like, it didn't help very much.

"Geeze; first Tae and now you. Is this going to happen every time I try to pay a tab off?"

By this stage, Nori was all but comatose, so it fell to Yoshiro to clean this up. "Uh, I don't actually know what's on that list of his, but I think this should be _more_ than enough. Do you want us to send you the remainder, or..."

"Nah; keep the change. Consider it a tip. Or maybe interest." With that, Sano stood up, stretched, and made his way out the door, throwing a casual wave and a "Ja, ne!" over his shoulder as he left.

For quite some time, Nori just stood there, dumbfounded.

Then, he sighed, handed the gold bar to his grandson, and sat down heavily.

"Well," Yoshiro said to his grandfather, "I guess this fairy tale has a happy ending after all."

"Pity," he remarked to no-one in particular. "I always liked that story, too..."

"I guess this means you're going to have to stop telling everyone he was a demon."

"Are you joking?" Nori exclaimed, before giving his grandson a conspiratorial grin. "Why let facts get in the way of a good story?"

* * *

_Zanza._

_Sagara Sanosuke._

Just a man, who takes a _very_ long time to pay his tab.

_ Owari _

* * *

**Author's Rambling**

I've had the idea for this epilogue almost since I finished writing the prologue. It was largely inspired by SDB's _The Last Battle of the Bakumatsu_; if you haven't read it, go do so now, since the next paragraph contains a spoiler!

No, seriously. Go read it. Stop it; oh fine, you want me to ruin it for you? Suits me...

I always loved the scene where Sano pays his tab at the Akabeko off; and the idea struck me, "what about the other restaurants?" Hence why Sano just shows up out of nowhere, and drops a bar of gold on the table. Before anyone has a go at me; I realise that the California gold rush ended about thirty years prior to Sano showing up, but it's not inconceivable that he managed to find some anyway. And besides, I rather like the tie-in to _The Last Battle of the Bakumatsu_.

Also, I have basically guessed the year that Sano returns to Japan, based on the story in the Kenshin Kaden—in Meiji 16, and Sano was Mongolia, but planning to come back to Japan. Also, if I got the Gregorian year off, blame Wikipedia, not me.

Regarding the story thing: I said in the prologue that the Zanza was the catering equivalent of the Hitokiri Battousai. Much of what is said about Kenshin is either highly exaggerated, or out and out lies. Such is the way with legends; each generation tells the story a little differently.

In that way, Zanza becomes something of a myth: the next generation things the previous is off their nut—that they're making him up to scare them into good bookkeeping, or something. But then, just as Kenshin redeems himself by using his sword to protect life, so does Sano redeem himself by paying off his astronomical tab.

I dunno... I liked the idea.

So that's it. The end of A Job for Sanosuke. I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it (at least _when_ I was writing it as opposed to doing other, non-writing things). I want to say thank you to all the people who have reviewed and encouraged me to keep going with this, and the people who have stuck with the story.

If you enjoyed the story, why not spent a moment of your time to review and let me know. You know I'd do it for you...

Coming next (provided I don't change my mind): Drinking Buddies (after the AJfS omake...)!

Until next time,

Ja, ne

–賜狼審神

_22nd April, 2006_

**Special Thanks**

To Author-chan and SiriusFan13 for giving the chapters of AJfS the once-over, and their encouragement and support. Arigatou.


End file.
